Summer Rain

Summer Rain


Cold, shivering hand palms seeking mine as I sit by your side
Pupils open wide, drool out of your mouth, slowly losing pride
A single salty tear reaches my lips when you pinch my skin
Hair became so thin yet I can still feel your strength within
Struggling to turn your head towards the window, towards me
Point your finger so I can see the wet leaves of an oak tree
Suddenly you utter a sigh followed by words: summer...rain...
Finally flash a smile again as you forget the torturing pain


Reminiscing of last summer, laying still on greenest grass
Greyish eyes as pure as glass, unaware it would all pass
Seeking for depths of your soul covered by a shell of flesh
Playing with an apricot flower smelling so pure and fresh
Silently listening to birds’ laughter as I rest my head
On your shoulder when you suddenly stood up and said:
“Can you taste the summer; can you taste the real life?
This, for me, is ultimate happiness: no stress, no strife
I won’t experience it again, controlled by this rotten spot
Eaten by cancer as my existence been put on time slot”
After those words, I was gone…gone from the cruel world
Remember I started spinning, round and round, so twirled
Rain streaming down on both of us, blending with our tears
Luckily the smell of it on hot concrete soothed mutual fears


Now I see the craving in your system to feel it one last time
That urge to feel alive, to smell the rain and the wild thyme
You whisper: “take me there…together with you…like before
As an old forgotten lore, take me to the summer rain I adore”
And so I sit here, your head peacefully resting inside my lap
Eye lids slowly closing when I suddenly realize this is a trap
You are leaving me at this idyllic scene, alone and in pain
As you give your last breath and say: taste the summer rain



Left feedback to:

Last Breath by Incineratedrose
Alchemy by Haywood Jewblowmi

that was tight:

Flow: 8/10
Rhyme Scheme: 9/10
Multis: 5/10
Topic: 5/10

OA: 8/10

Thanks for the feed...

Upping all the way to the top :)

i think this should be in Poetic Scriptures...its realy poetic..but it has some very good imagery and emotion..this is miss jess i think isnt it..well good job..but i think this is more poetic....i liked tha complex wordplay and vocab..very intricate little piece...very dope topic..hit up the link in my sig titled when the sky falls..thnks...up.

Yeh, its Miss Jess on new account. I feel you on the poetic part, heard that before about this piece. I'll return the favor without a doubt...

Upping this piece, I'll return the favor...

nice topic, i like the whole idea of him taking you back to the happy times so thats what you'd remember him by, the summer rain image worked perfectly here and you involved all the senses with the mention of taste and the thyme, nice portrayal of the beauty of summer, it showed how the simplest things can make people extremely elated, a refreshing read..

return the favour.