"Liquid Path Of Addiction"--(new comer) let me know what you think

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214663
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214666
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=214578

Track- "liquid path of addiction"
Album- "One Sick Fuck"
Label- Twilight Entertainment- Better than you-

thoughts of an addict...

tense and scared im glarin at it and its starin back...
glass half full or empty? experience impaired the factz...
the weight it holds on my shoulders could make this chair collapse...
im havin a rare relapse...and jack is the only one here to share this crap...
i know its a disease and i gotta face it... cuz the problems raisin...
reoccuring salivation from the glass's condensation...
thinkin about it, as time lingers i sweat...
caressin the glass makes my finger tips wet...
the thought of the burn in my throat juss torchers me...
i cant believe i wake up everyday unfortunately...
black label whiskey i might as well give it a try...
i guess addiction gets quicker with strides...
the thoguht of the taste makes me darker than the liquid inside...
i get the shakes without it it's like im cold and i shiver...
and if i take a sip its like i sold my soul to a killer...
i never tought of stoppin or controllin my liquer...
i lost a hold of my family theres a hole in my liver...
in my life i use to have a wife who gave me hugs and kiss's...
she would try to keep the house clean of secrets as she observed my sickness...
empty bottles and slutty pictures...
she wanted space and my drunk ass ignored her wishes...
but i knew that she deserved her distance...
NOW I LIVE WITH COCKROACHES AND DIRTY DISHES...
damn i remember back in the day when innosence fulfilled me...
NOW IM AT A POINT WHERE THIS ONE SIP CAN KILL ME...

WOW

Now That was a fucking dope piece.
Your Flow And basic delivery of the message was put across dope and it hit hard
I've seen a few pieces about being an alcoholic or a drug addict and so far this is the best i've seen i mean you combined sylibles so well it was fucking iLL
You Have a good style maybe we should collab sometime?
anyway check out some of my drops if you could

thanks and keep dropping

PaRa

thanx for the rate man...any time you wanna collab juss hit me up...i have tons of interesting concepts

DAMN...all I can say is DAMN!!!! I actually felt wut u wuz sayin an thats rare fa me. I can only hope you'll post more of your rhymes!!!!

oh this is my new home...ull be seeing a lot from me

Ay, I'll throw one of our collabs up in a few bro.

Just to let y'all know, me and Duzt gonna be doin a lot of tracks together and y'all can hit us up on collabs and what not. I'll post up some of our other shit soon.

so much dope shit to come

not fuckin bad kid...i liked this piece...very ill....nice imagery...i liked your wordplay alot...your rhyme scheme and your vocab was ill...all in all this was a very ill piece....your bars started to get short and stretch some during your verse and that fucked up your structure somewhat...other than that...ill piece...keep droppin tha hottness.~1~

assholes dont forget bout the KoKaNe lol I'm here too

Hey, i jus read ya drop... and that was wicked!! heaps gud work to ya n keep it up.. hoping to read more from ya, cyaz