Rash Of Insanity

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...11#post2633311
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...87#post2633387

Take a walk with me.. Through the many gateways of lost logic..
Where fate preys on rotted rawness.. A raped thought process
Shaped into monsters wreaking havoc on my cerebellum..
A twisted structure stands alone shadowed by tortured felons
Misfortunes dwelling.. A sanctuary for the sick n twisted..
A blistered misfit aiming at emotion.. Swings n missed it
Raging giants of sadistic temperament stand inside the gate..
Silently wait for a sane idea to pass for them to violently break
Sirens n wraiths circle the bell tower shrieking like banshees..
With deafening screams.. Sufficient in bringing a man to his knees
Inmates began with pleas.. Then the disease warped their minds..
Distorted time.. Til their only focus was deforming mine
Locked away in padded rooms are creatures torn from battered wombs..
Moaning for thoughts to feed on before they lay in tattered tombs
A ‘Mad Hatter’s’ doom is found where imagination and logic mix..
The left n right brain come together to form nostalgic fits
Hazey views of truth are visible from the Asylum windows..
But then those, while brief.. Only add fuel to my grim flows
A Rash of insanity spewing forth to erase contrast..
Cerebral cortex conquered by a maniac in a Jason mask
Brandishing a chainsaw and warning all that’ll listen close..
The envisioned hosts of his mind are imprisoned ghosts
With risen hopes of taking over my entire mental..
Desiring control of my cerebrum to set fire to pencils
Forcing me to scribe my bizarre tales of mind state in blood..

iite not bad, topic was quite good...
i think the flow was a bit basic as such, possibly lacking some forward motion, or maybe a bit of aggression/passion/variety of flow could of been added,
decent vocab

a couple of lines seemed a bit out of sychronism=

Silently wait for a sane idea to pass for them to violently break

I read this spit alstnight and thoughj it was pretty nice man, I am deinately feelin tha dark type style cause i reminds me of me...
Also a very visual piece and you can see as you reading it....
I like your use of multis you had some good ones up in there, overall a prety good piece man, cant wait ta read more...

Ha ha..
Basic flow..
Riiiiiiiiight kid..

This was real nice, the flow was decent in the first 6-8 bars but then you stepped it up half way through the piece you then started adding in multies so the verse was dope. Youve got a nice flow and a good vocabulary to go with it, so you was able to write some really dope imagery.
I couldnt really hate on nothing in this piece, keep writing.

Return the feed please:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=207296

Indeed.

Hmmm.. Up.