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Tearstained Pages
Tearstained Pages.
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When it hurts to go back and re-read passages and verses...
When you're too scared to turn the page incase you have to reface old curses.
When things that you've forgotton come back to haunt you...
...And the pages of your past just turn to taunt you.
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My pads are all stained by the pain of the past where happiness once played the games I know lack.
Each page, front and back, ranges from stages of fact in cages stacked dangerously,
Considered painless but heinously painful when collapsed and raining aimlessly.
Already tearstained by my last escape, but the fear remains and so does the hate...
Each line is a plain reminder of times that have changed,
A sane set of signs that coincides with the rhymes,
Headed by a name in which resides the belated weighted sighs, the ill-fated forgotton cries,
And the recreated mistakes I offen pray I'll never find.
I hate to be reminded of times my mind described as subsided...
Of miles I thought were beaten and of skies I dreamt defeated...
Each set of lines is deepened by the stanza sent to weaken...
And each of these words are mine and they are all of my meaning.
Adventures of mis-leading dreams or of stories not quite what they seem...
A gory recount of a rapist and a hidden message to what it means...
A series of schemes now set in screams, and a constant requiem of what has been...
My once forgotten past being redeemed in my reappearing tears,
As I recount all the years and the pain of all my ages...
And I recount the same number of tearstained pages.
-x-
When it hurts to go back and re-read passages and verses...
When you're too scared to turn the page incase you have to reface old curses.
When things that you've forgotton come back to haunt you...
...And the pages of your past just turn to taunt you.
-x-
I used to dream daily and my tearstained pages vaguely express this,
Its amazing that I hate this when I excpect it to one day re-ascess this...
To hopefully repent it, And say yes that I meant it...
And see each tearstain as a memory of many days that I vented...
So many ways I created such crazed diary entries so excellently frustrated, all headed and dated.
All set in made up places where dazed faces paced hastely towards the awards that awaits thee...
Scores of won wars and of battles caused by matters reinforced by messages brought forward,
Stored awkwardly in ink. Many memories I often think are horded together blindly in links,
I look back at the chain of memories in winks and hints,
I start to rethink each episode I bestowed on the cold paper...
Of all the lines I left it to hold and never finished it later...
I hate to be reminded of all the times Ive been repeated,
And all the tearstains are the games in which my mind was defeated.
Each drop is a symbol is for each time I cowered beneath the thimble...
Each drip is the rekindled cries that I am single...
Each stain is a grace and a face that doesn't mingle...
A ripple of a wave in the pages of my past.
A pistol or a cave in which I engrave my craves for fact. A fiction Ive replayed for many days,
Yet still perhaps make me enraged, Each page is a stamp and a metaphor for my tears...
As I recount the pages that I have cried throughout the years.
-x-
When it hurts to go back and re-read passages and verses...
When you're too scared to turn the page incase you have to reface old curses.
When things that you've forgotton come back to haunt you...
...And the pages of your past just turn to taunt you.
-x-
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I did my best to edit the structure, ionno, if the flows off or the structure whatever, i really had to play around with this... Anyways, drop feed please....
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=183033
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=183517
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d0pe. poetic shit. loved the story, great use of imagery. Liked the second half better than the first because there was more imagery. Loved the flow and the multies you threw in there. Liked the diary concept. Nice. But change the font I had to squint to read it..
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...24#post2264524
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Amazing, i really loved it, it painted a picture in my mind on the whole thing. It had great imagery like hollywodnt said. This was really good apart from the font lol. The flow was sik, i give a rating of 9/10, u de man lol. We shud collab homie one day
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nice shit dawg..this was really a nice peice
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not to bad, pretty good stuff
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Thank y'all. GenoH and guererouscg try leaving much better feed than that, but thanks anyways. To the peeps who mentioned the font, my style looks stupid when its not wrote like this, I hope y'all see past this and let me know what y'all think. I just wrote a lot of feedback so I should hopefully recieve more feed on this, and also this is a message for people to stop sleeping on Hit N Run, and especially stop sleeping on K9.
Anyways upppppppn?
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nice drop man like that was a such a dope piece
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That shit was hard......get bac at me
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ya man that was real ill good job.
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lol @ all this 5 word feedback..
But yeah, this was good, ive seen better from you but this was pretty good...i 'm startin to get used of your structure, to be honest i like it, if you changed the structure your style just wouldnt be the same, they dont even seem stretched anyways... you had alot of multis in this, they seemed forced at a few points but that just may be me..emotion was strong.. the hook fit this perfectly.. this was long but worth the read.. nice drop
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for those of you who left a one line feed:blah@your gayness!
i agree with Abusive...i kinda got used to your structure too man...It personifies you now…when i read your pieces i rarely notice it...
Now back to your OM:
I liked it much...the thing i said i was gonna write was in some way like this,so it appealed to me more...the imagery was done well,you've had good vocabulary and some good metaphors to really lay down your thoughts in a way that i could see easily what you were thinking...it flowed well,and u've used multis almost in the right places,and really gave a boost to the flow... emotion was strong and deep and helped to emphasize better the imagery and the overall message...i didn't see anything specificaly that i didn't like...nothing really stood out...overall a very good piece man...keep it up fam!
Peace!
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for real if you got that on wax id buy that up incredible lyrics that i can bring two meanings out of keep droppin man very good shit very good
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I dont wanna come off cheesy or repetive but i like the structure too
it had really good flow and was deep and poetic
something K9 normally puts up
glad somebody else is putting out things like this
i like this line
When it hurts to go back and re-read passages and verses...
When you're too scared to turn the page incase you have to reface old curses.
When things that you've forgotton come back to haunt you...
...And the pages of your past just turn to taunt you.
nice job man
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it was aight....keep elevatin
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Lol jk....nice work...good structure....nice drop