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Going.
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Have you ever left anyone you loved more than your mother ?
Mutual feelings, You had thought you shared for each other
But come to find out, your lover brought in a third wheel
Yet you would love her, if she didn't abuse how you feel
Im Going...
I've been played hard, yeah I got as much as mental scars
Eating away at my mind, Flowing down like the Niagra Falls
I suspected of cheating, But only suspected I didnt want to lose it
I hit the Nail with the Hammer there, And he was the one...
...Who Screwed it..
Basically speaking, I been betrayed, but I had thought better
I should've known, I never crossed your mind with 4 page letters
Played my friends to spend the night with you, hurt feelings and all
Even got my EX to get an abortion, YOU didnt want that baby to Fall
And honestly, Im feeling, like given the chance you'd do it again.
So Im writing this note with a Knife, AND the PAPER's My SKIN
You Dirty Bitch, look What You did, You made me snap and react
YOU wanted FUN in the relationship, WELL Heres a Fun Fact.
I was willing to give it all, swim the atlantic, and float the pacific
For just 5 minutes, Just to get the magic feeling your lips give.
And I was gentle too, but You took my kindness for weakness..
Well Kindness has gone to the gym, while you were asleep...
...You Felt HIM kick your Fetus!!
Great. Now Im part of two abortions, well Its better one was Free
Oh and I left you with my bogus insurance, hope they pay for surgery..
I wont tell you where Im at, shit why would I wanna be found ??
So I left it with YOUR friend, The one who happened to be missing..
...A DICK NOW..
wow.
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I've been played hard, yeah I got as much as mental scars
Eating away at my mind, Flowing down like the Niagra Falls
I suspected of cheating, But only suspected I didnt want to lose it
I hit the Nail with the Hammer there, And he was the one...
...Who Screwed it..
Played my friends to spend the night with you, hurt feelings and all
Even got my EX to get an abortion, YOU didnt want that baby to Fall
Great. Now Im part of two abortions, well Its better one was Free
Oh and I left you with my bogus insurance, hope they pay for surgery..
I wont tell you where Im at, shit why would I wanna be found ??
So I left it with YOUR friend, The one who happened to be missing..
...A DICK NOW..
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This had some really cool parts to it. Tho the imagery was on point, it was basic...
like the niagra line... it was really vivid to me.. but its very simple as well, your writing has this aura around it that makes you want to read more... it has nothing to do w/ the content, but more in how you structure your verse and prolong some of the rhymes. when i first looked over the verse i was like... this looks wack.. but it wasnt.
quite the opposite.
check out Behind the Music.
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Lol. This just went crazy after the line bout writing the not on your skin with a knife. This is some "Kim" type sit. Crazzy, original, funny. Nice job.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=182419
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Muchos gracias papi. You'll see I left your feedback like 2 hours before i remembered to up my own shit. =/
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yeah like Wicked said:kinda like eminem's "kim" song.i liked how the storyline evolved:you've started sad,then sadded then systematically went insane to the point "So Im writing this note with a Knife, AND the PAPER's My SKIN"(really sick).you described well your insanity:fury,rage but also you were in a way calm and kinda joking;it really made me feal like you were insane.(or maybe you are :) )liked the ending too:
"I wont tell you where Im at, shit why would I wanna be found ??
So I left it with YOUR friend, The one who happened to be missing..
...A DICK NOW.."
liked the rhymescheme,flowed pretty well...overall a nice read!laughed as i was reading it...
if you have time,please return the fav:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=181482
Peace man!
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Not bad, There were a couple nice lines in here.
