CHRISSPISS diss

yo, we boys till the end and shit but i felt like writing bout some one and you came up so... here it goes:

to this rap game, youre cravity and im crest
you wanna mess, talking bout youre vest
nigga ill still put nine to youre chest
and if i dont, ill leave you sorest
you already got madd haters in here
they read youre shit, and now they lost their sclera
even before you posted, you knew you were queer
you droping shit that dont even make any sence
we write back, and now youre on the de-fence
you wanna learn? read before you write
youre realizing that to you im Afrite
every single one of youre rhymes are trite
look at youre SN; CHRISSPISS
thats a name waiting to get DISS
ima tell you this, and this is the only time
my rhymes will turn you into a mime

anyone feeling this?

DEFENITIONS:

trite- Lacking power; no power
Afrite-A powerful evil jinnee, demon, or monstrous giant
sclera-The tough white fibrous outer of tissue covering all of the eyeball
sorest- Feeling physical pain

ill post the links...

You didn't really have any personals, just mentioned his name, said it could be dissed, but didn't. You used some strange words, that really stood out, like you got stuck on the rhyme. Give better feedback on pieces, I know you want to get to 100 posts, but take the time to read their's.

Hmm this is still to basic.. as i posted in your recent open mics, get more creative and complex with your lines, use multis, wordplay, ect. well i did see some multis in here, but not as much as their could be.. if you 're gonna spend time droppin disses in open mic, you gotta have good punches.. you 're vocab is ok, but your forcin it to be better and it just doesn 't flow all that great... but yeah if you 're gonna be dissin people, you gottta use some harder punches instead of all filler like this, if not it 's just pointless...

return the favor:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176386

^^ ya, i didnt wanna DISS his name and shit cause we boys but i did diss him during the other lines, and those words aint cause i got stuck; thats how i write (check out ''CHECK IT OUT'' and you'll see)


anyone else?

credz:http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...89#post2153989 and http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176361

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AbusivE

Hmm this is still to basic.. as i posted in your recent open mics, get more creative and complex with your lines, use multis, wordplay, ect. well i did see some multis in here, but not as much as their could be.. if you 're gonna spend time droppin disses in open mic, you gotta have good punches.. you 're vocab is ok, but your forcin it to be better and it just doesn 't flow all that great... but yeah if you 're gonna be dissin people, you gottta use some harder punches instead of all filler like this, if not it 's just pointless...

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explain multis and wordplay... im new adn dont know so dont laugh

lol

no offense,but it's simplistic.try to get more personal when dissin',make it sound like ya really gonna do the shit ya say,ya know?try more elaborate schemes to diss,mo worldplay,sicker plots...i see u use some good vocab,but don't give no defenitions...if the mothafu$k can't understand,be it...let him check in the dictionary.and olso mo multies and strong punches...in battles and disses they count a lot.

please return the feed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176263

Quote:

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Originally Posted by ThE kId BiG

explain multis and wordplay... im new adn dont know so dont laugh

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Do you have AIM? if i have any extra time, i could help you out a bit.
You could also check out the tutorial section on here..


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=154

^there should be something in there that could help you

Quote:

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Originally Posted by K9_THESHIT

no offense,but it's simplistic.try to get more personal when dissin',make it sound like ya really gonna do the shit ya say,ya know?try more elaborate schemes to diss,mo worldplay,sicker plots...i see u use some good vocab,but don't give no defenitions...if the mothafu$k can't understand,be it...let him check in the dictionary.and olso mo multies and strong punches...in battles and disses they count a lot.

please return the feed
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176263

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i was thinkin of doin that... fuck those plls that dont know the words-- lol

yo the kid big ur wak nigga

^ hahahahahahahahaha... i tought you werent gonna go on?

eyyo this shit is whack, work on everything yo your style is shitty. And your rhymes aint that tight neitha.... work on it nigga

its iight but i can do betta lol keep rappin these ni99a are just hatin

fuck you don, and thankx for all...