ma shit is da shit

Im no Judas im jubal with my joual jubilation jumps from my journal
u all juggle jive judo flow like Juba, virgin bitches miracle maternal
Im above jesus cuz last I checked he was six feet under
wonder why im on a higher level, believers are dumber
ignorance makes me pissed never seen or spoke to this myth
bitch, he was an illusion fused in by a spliff and an acid trip
prolifically gifted leaving marks swimin’ in the spits im kickin’
Ronaldo bicycle around so its flipped, like a psychic wishin’
a shark fishin’, or g-unit with a thought provoked message
im guessing retards still miss the surgeon generals presage
smoke and choke to look dope, but dopes got no hope
workout then puff and blow, consider yourself croaked
not by fat though but that throat cancer, that hands your life away
cliche like miss cleo sporting a seatbelt, hands free on a highway
I see through it, like bush’s head when he is turned sideways
no brains, fat cat lames with high class claims faking a change
we need to get some cents come on that common knowledge
but we need bucks to buck the system and buy our college
then take our receipt, for the sake of pete, or sorry I mean diploma
move out to move in, rewind, transverse do it all again, back home
im sittin’ reminiscin’ wishin’ I was in bell air
me and the prince would raise some hell there
like ripped ravioli too many kids are shell tarred
only hell cares, life got cheese bread and bad welfare
telling us to, well fare, cuz the wells empty and its not fair
good god the plot got us caught thinking the cops care
stare at the sun so I could see the light, ended up blind by night
burnt in hell like propane showers when the match ignites
like angered arsonist we burn these mics, explodes domes
Hiroshima combustion leaving nothing but dust in our poems

links
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175151
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175293

can i get some feed?

Not feeling the "ma shit is the shit" deal you've got going here, arrogance is very rarely accepted... more sugar, less vinegar, aite?

As far as the verse, I liked it, there was some cool play with alliteration that gets forgotten by a lot of "emcees", although a lot of your rhyming seemed forced at times, but that's kind of okay cuz you were giving it a good sound and a flow instead of just keepin it simple. I liked it, it was too long and all over the place to give you any specific idea of what I think of it as a piece, so try writing something shorter and more concise? After you rap something, I should know what you just talked about and be able to sum it up, but I can't do any such thing with your verse.

lol thank you for the response. i keyed this up really quick for an audio with my buddy. i titled it that cuz gay om's with wack titles were getting more looks. i really dont like what i did here. and i completely agree with you. thanks. sounds good audio though.

thank you for the feed upping for some more please

Yo that was sum good shit son...Ur rilly good yo..

Rtrn the favor and vote on my battle please :)

YO IM Bak !!! yo check my freestyle in the open mic and drop sum feed but u already showed me this shit and i said it was deep and tyte not ma style but thats yo thing and u do it good still keep doin wat chu doin iight pz
~1~
im out
(pppppppppphhhhhhhhwwwwwwwwweeeeeeeewwwwwww)
and im gone

thanks up

I thought it was a nice verse it was a good topic and you got to the heart of it with some deep and raw lines.
The structure and vocab were fine but you could work on the flow but apart from that it was a real nice verse.

Reply to this please.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176403

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by djb

lol thank you for the response. i keyed this up really quick for an audio with my buddy. i titled it that cuz gay om's with wack titles were getting more looks. i really dont like what i did here. and i completely agree with you. thanks. sounds good audio though.

---

^fucked up ain't it, pisses me off to. And whats tha deal with all this bullshit one line feedback lately.

Anyway. Impressive. One of the better ones i've read of yours. Nice concept. too. Did u say you did this in audio. If so pm me the soundclick. Nice drop fam. Uppin........

thanks yall. good looking out fam. havent recorded it yet, but i will this week

took alot to read at first, but after it got goin than it was pretty good. Some decent rhymes, and I guess it was organized. I've never read any of your other shit but this bein the first, it was alright..haha.

hit me up if you have time on my thread.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176461

this was kool.. some nice lines and choice of vocab, feelin the way u worded it in places.. not too many hard punches but a scatter of creativity here n there, i felt u maybe coulda done something better with this, but for what it was worth you did your thing here on a decent drop, peep this in return plz

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176138

wow thanks i guess gay named om's do get more looks. sad but true. thanks and i will return the favor shortly