freestyle(opinions plz)

like churchs chicken, all my shit is raw
pop a nigga jaw, just like I popped his girls jaw
without no flaw, I freestyle without a problem
filled my mouth with jewels, like I filled up a condom
no stopping, shit I always stay wrecking
whoop a nigga ass, as if I was 05 Tekken
no wrestling, I never be faking
hoes complain, I play games, nicknamed, me playstation
bar raising, man you'll cant compete
can't fit all my hoes im my jeep, I only got six seats
can't stay in yo seat, cause I get this bitch hype
I went back to the future sipping lean on a bike
shit tight, like yo clothes on a cold winter day
scream out my name like I was flavor flav
people think Im inspector gadget cause all the problems I be solvin
plus you gettin dizzy cause my rims keep revolvin
im paul walling, cause Im the peoples champ
niggas mad, cause on the hoe ass, my name is stamped
chain like a lamp, I bring light to the house
I spit flames, even though I got this ice in my mouth
yeah, whats the deal

You need to leave 2 links to 2 open mics that you left decent feedback on or this gets closed, Thanks.

Ehhhh ..
I didnt really like this. The flow was there, but the content was lacking. Rhyme scheme never really helped it along, you could use more multis and that would probably tighten it up a little. Typically, 'flexing' pieces like this dont get good responses, try writing something original - with a dope twist or take. Something different, you know?

Just words of advice ..

I wasnt feeling this man, you had pretty decent flow but you seemed to just be going for metaphors without trying to express anything.
Often you rhymed the same word to continue the flow, which obviously disrupted it and changed my take on it, try expanded your vocabulary, take time over the piece.
The very last line, well befre whats the deal, that was a pretty decent line but it could of been used a whole lot better.
Work on your structure, dont just worry about flow, make it passable and then people will begin to appreciate your work.
Also, this type of piece is constant here, as Camarac said try something different, you never know you could expand your style.

Keep dropping and elevate :thumbup:

Had some good ideas, there was wordplay in there. Keep that up. You have potential, work on some writtens where you can put more time into your verse, and be able to straigthen out your flow.

This was ok for a freestyle but thats it.
The structure of your rhymes need to improve your vocab needs to be upped and this piece had no flow it was just basic rhymes.
The more rhymes you write the more you'll improve so keep at it.

Return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=175058

how do i leave links i dont know how tell me

i will always return the favor

Aiit man...

wherever you leave links, copy and paste what it sez in the address bar and edit them into your thread