Brainwashed

Brainwashed...


Couldn’t care shit about religion imagine blessings from sinners with vile infections?
High profile appointment politicians orchestrate warfare & declare global victims,
My loss of patience amazes the non-believing atheists’ who say God is tasteless
Non-existent entity complete shapeless, ducking Pagans invasions of the faithless
Graceless neva levitate gravity pump black gloved fist for niggaz who wrote history
Endured fights from the cavalry apparently conspiracy’ to brainwash folk only theory
Merely fantasy pipedream & fallacy power of the globe belongs in hands of fiends
They plotting plans & grimy schemes to expand control land using military – teams
Officially – mean, broad-faced commit daylight robberies never catch a court-case
Even if law breaks they cohort for the state
Morbid mercenary magnates report to base.

They’ll manipulate ur mans brain then hit u wit the same cosh
Zombies duped by subliminal waves Prepare for the Brainwash….

European Royal families swathe in diamonds claiming poor people tax for royalties
Masonic Lodges house all the secrecies, need to rotate knowledge 360 degrees
Society bleeds internal organs befall feeble displeased unable to stage upheaval
Facing rage of the most lethal power struggling monies stand on the base of evil
Case simple written in black & white they cover every angle of attack & take flight
Dark Hell just a single candle for light, when stakes get high they gamble your life
This isn’t paradise here see were stereotyped for general purpose treated unfairly
More they fool more they feel glee; lies were mixed with truth to build dynasties
Like crime being free from these cretins, they scam as I talk plan my life sentence
Telling me to shut my mouth drop weapons
Methods condition your mind in 60 seconds.

They’ll manipulate ur mans brain then hit u wit the same cosh
Zombies duped by subliminal waves Prepare for the Brainwash….[/SIZE]

this was pretty good, you used good vocab and had good wordplay, but you have to work on the flow...it was a bit off but besides that it was pretty good keep doin ya thing

tight shit,nice imagery,i liked tha wordplay,multis,kinda long but still ill.~1~

Was definatly feeling this one. Nice imagery and vocab. GREAT topic. It was kinda long but the content made it worth the read. Nice job man uppin your next piece.

i enjoyed all of it yo this was flawless work all around.

good looking out yo glad u enjoyed it in sum way or other

the dude who said i shud work on the flow??? basicaly it mostly flows all the way without pause from word 2 word hence not much grammar involved

i'll be sure to Holl@ yo werk later

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=170214

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172886

dope! i loved the vocab ya know... definitly worth the reading... keep bringing the heat...

thanx fa props jigga ma nigga

uppin

This was good... Good balance of vocabulary mixed with decent metaphors and multies. Flow was off at times partially from the length of your lines maybe but there were times when it was impecable. Definately a nice peace using an individual style. Keep it up man...

Thanks for the feedback on Messiah Complex.

Peace

good look out D ....it probaly is difficult to hold such long lines to a permanent flow without going off a little now and again


pz

I liked the vocab for this, it added to your thought out piece. You were descriptive, and went in depth with the topic you picked. The lines were long, but the context filled the story nicely. The rhyming was alright, you need to make sure you can still establish a rhyme scheme with longer lines.

Shorten your lines up, DaMn.
How long have you been here now?
And you havent realised the point of flow in your pieces?!


Jesus ..

^
basicaly Luther i've been here a few weeks... is that long?

you're obviously hating on me coz im da real Vortex n ur a fake fuck who once used da name

im actualy a battler so if u really wanna get at me take ie there

thanx for ur negative reply ill be sure to return the favour

ha bloody ha suckah

thanx Crazy Carl for your feedback

uppin

^

lol dude chill.. hes just tryin to tell u to make ur lines a bit shorter coz they really are long and that messes up the flow at times..

but dont worry, the content was real good so this was quite nice... i like the rhyme scheme along with some of the complexity in your verse which displayed good creativity & some ill ideas and concepts..

keep it up

peace

yeah there was places here and there that were off, you could work on a better flow.. it wouldve have emphasized this piece more, because as far as content you did a good job here, something to make u think a few times.. u could use a little elevation here n there but do ya thing, peep my joint out

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172961