-Untitled-

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172563
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172621

Yes i know its a little late for this, But i had intents to collab with someone on it but they never did so Im posting mine up so it doesnt go to waste.


I just need you know
...
Beautiful to the touch, Soothing to the mind, Craving all your love...
Brewing full of trust,... Moving into time,...Engraving it with us...
...
Beauty showers me everytime I hear your sweet gentle kiss...
Refreshing my thoughts of us together creating a mental bliss...
A sentamental wish, that I pray for every night I close my eyes...
Praying to God for a future for us that he will only show in time...
And I know your mine, Just sometimes it hurts so much I cry...
Cause you got to me in places no one has ever touched inside...
And you rushed in mine, But so delicately you left your marks...
For me to follow, leading me to your love in unexplored parts...
Finding your pure heart, Coated in gloss just gleaming so true...
With every steady beat you make you have me dreaming of you...
Its just the way you sound when you laugh, so cute to hear...
Always makes me smile like the thought of if you were here...
And that cute laugh of yours raises my soul up where I do revel...
Cause knowing your happy takes my life to whole new level...
Wish I could make us forever but I know we'll take our vows in time...
Cause Im loving you right now like I always will my beautiful Valentine...

Yeah this is nice... Great flow... Great multies... I liked it. Emotional pieces are always the best because they convey true heart felt messages... I also have respect for people who release them - I have one to release just can't get the courage to post it! You should write more... In the time I've been here I haven't seen you write a piece but you clearly have talent. I look forward to seeing future pieces.

Sorry there wasn't much for me to say... The only suggestion I have is maybe make it a little longer... Structure it a little.. otherwise I thought this was good.

If you have time check out "Messiah Complex" in my sig I'd appreciate it.

Peace

Good read, Good visual..

Ok ive already told u what i feel about this... structure was good, openin multis were very good! also had alot of multis through out the whole verse... emotion was also very nice, very detailing..i truely have nothin bad to say about this peice lol.. was nice and deep, nice drop ! btw, we still need to do another collab =)

:shoot: I Think This Shit Is Hott, On An Emotional Level If Thats What You Were Or Are Goin Through.
Good Multies...
Vocab. Was On Point, & You Was Very Consistent Widdit.
Detailed Depictions, Of Ya Own Convictions Is Sick'ening...
KEEP IT UP:



KALIKOZE911... :shoot:

Thanks for the feedback guys, Appreciate it. Upping For Some More :)

honestly, this was really nice man... deep emotion that made this piece outstanding, the flow was great along with the multies that enhanced it.. it was quite short, i was hoping for a longer piece but thats no problem... nice concepts in some of your lines...

"And I know your mine, Just sometimes it hurts so much I cry...
Cause you got to me in places no one has ever touched inside..."

and the "thought if u were here" line was dope..

quite dope, keep at it..

please hit up "seeing satan" in my sig

peace

^

my sig didnt appear in that post for some reason.. :huh:

anyway here's the link instead..

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=2107804

I liked this, emotion was good. Its easy to come off as played concepts with verses like this, but I don't think this was. Good length for a collab verse. The topic was good, and you were descriptive, going in detail about specfic things. Flow was nice throughout.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=172439

I'm into anything thats heartfelt and that what this seemed to be. Your use of vocab really help to turn the words into clear images. Nice drop man, but I'm sure u already knew that.

great work ...really diggong the sentiment...iit to me falls in between a good love song or a great emotional poem. it is really something to talk about because i enjoyed it and i don't really like emotinal pieces ......but if you do gutter as well as emotional i would love to coolab --------- reading it takes me to another level ---in one word "awesome"

well this was clearly dope, feelin the triple rhyme scheme u chose in the baginning, perhaps coulda been a little smoother round the edges but u did it nice, and the rest was on point, the multis held it together and the choice of words it what made it.. im feelin this to the fullest, probly a nomination.. its good to see something other than "gat bustin in your face" shit, keep up, and peep this?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=176138

Nice imagery I liked that alot in this piece I also liked the emotion that this contained. overall nice job.