Arrogant Fuck

Arrogant people are like the fuckin plague of this Earth.
Thinking they're above us because they go to church,
Well what's worse? You worshipping a fake being above,
Or me coming to me senses and saying "Arrogant prick, Fuck off!"
I tried going to church one day, took a wrong turn, got lost
Asked directions from a Muslim cop and his fuckin jaw dropped..
"How de fook should i know?" He said with a menacing grimace
So I pulled the arrogant fuck aside and stuck some henessy in em
"No idea" woulda done it... there was really no need for cuss words
"Shit Piss Fuck Cunt Ass Bitch" < and those were only nouns and verbs
But if I could find one adjective to describe this higher society...
It would be "fucked" for all the fuckin stupid arrogant pricks around me
Surprising, one time some old dude with a handicapp got in my way..
So i took his fuckin oxygen hose, kinked it up and kicked his cane away
He's just a dumb arrogant guy, didn't even sigh an "excuse me"
And as he was dieing on the street, a fuckin ambulance came...
The driver called ME an arrogant FUCK...and walked away....damn

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...19#post2074319
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=171016

This was pretty short, you should of lengthened it out more - Given it a touch more depth. The flows there, but you dont really have the multis or rhyme schemes down yet, if you can do that - your flow will improve ten fold. Just another quick tip - if you're going to use speech in these pieces, its probably best to leave it out of the rapping part. Do the rapping part, then make the conversation part seperately if you know what I mean? As having to rhyme out the conversations often takes away from what you want to say, drags the rhymes down, and makes the characters less believable.

The potentials there, hopefully you'll build on it. Cheers for replying to my piece bro.


Pz.

i find it difficult to comment constructively on this bollox man.

technically - i agree with Luth.


but nah.

luther, i thought about that whole speech thing, except i didnt think it would apply to this because the characture's speech wasnt long.. but thx for the feedback