Little Soldiers

I wrote this for my 3 younger brothers

Title: Little Soldiers

[Verse 1]
When I see them lips tremble I fear them tears
And no matter how it appears I'm right here
Over the years your ears have heard so much
So I'm here if you ever need a loving touch
It's such a shame, our lives have been tough
But I got no regrets coz I cant love ya'll enough
There's been so much stuff we try to keep hidden
But it's clear to see, like happyness is forbidden
I didnt mean to take my problems out on you
I'm sorry, it's somethin I should never ever do
And I've grew up now, wow.....I'm an adult now
I'll build bridges with you if you show me how
Coz I couldnt allow you to come to any harm
I just wanna protect you, take you in my arms

[Chorus - Sing]
So little soldiers dont you ever cry
Yeah it rains but the Sun still shines
And I know sometimes we hurt inside
But through it all we're gon' be alright
Coz for you my arms are open wide
Come here, big bro's gon' hold you tight

[Verse 2]
I dread to think back to all the tears we've shed
'Lee's my hero', yeah Micheal thats what you said
We got good times ahead of us, and I aint liein
Coz never again will I sit up night after night cryin
I'm dryin my eye's defying the hurt and the pain
I try to maintain a calmness, it drives me insane
It's hard to explain coz sometimes I wanna scream
But ya'll my dream, ya'll just give me self esteem
It seems no-matter how hard life is, we'll survive
Coz I've been through it......I took a nose dive
But ya'll revive me, I'm still alive, I'm on the move
And it's cool, coz I know that things will improve
I'm a prove that I can make it and be a provider
Life is full of surprises, my destiny is the decider

[Chorus - Sing]
So little soldiers dont you ever cry
Yeah it rains but the Sun still shines
And I know sometimes we hurt inside
But through it all we're gon' be alright
Coz for you my arms are open wide
Come here, big bro's gon' hold you tight

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167284
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167190

I was definetly feeling that. Nice job. The flow was good. 8/10

you need to leave 2 links on here or this will get shut down.
this was a decent drop, the structure was good the flow was ok.
but it was the message in the song that shined through 2 me, i like the deeper rhymes so i thought this was good.

return the favour.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167404

Really like this man, you said you were working on new shit
glad to see it was decent, liked your opproach here.
it was a personal piece, and you made it real emotional
thought it was an enjoyable read for me, vocab wasnt
dope, but you used your words well and pulled of a 'real'
nice piece

good stuff Lee

man this was good....really feelin ya here......flow was good...structure.....not too much wrong with it...just a good drop ya know like jonezy said.....really good to read this keep droppin this man....awesome

I liked the first verse better, and the chorus was fine, but I think the 2nd verse lacked the same emotion.

Maybe bcoz your first verse, it showed a style which reminds me of my own...
It also got deeper in my opinion, great lines and emotion.

I also liked the idea of Little Soldiers, tho its like Toy Soldiers, it fits well with the piece.

Maybe we could collab sumtime man, good job :thumbup:

Hit this up 4 me to
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=167239
Thanks a lot

Thanks for the feedback so far...

Uppin for more

This was a nice peice...

Held a lot of emotion, and some nice imagery...

Could have used some internals and also some multis to aid the flow a little bit... As well as some more vocab...

Overall nice drop... Be good to hear in audio...

Peace

Uppin

hey man i was feeling this piece. nice flow, structure and everything. keep it for real....peace

Ok can I have some more detailed feedback...

Uppin

Uppin

This was real nice......I was feelin it......everything looked good