I love the city

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...44#post1987144





http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...91#post1987191



12AM that's when the day begins
When the heathens come out and commence the sin
See we pretend that we all know nothing
If the truth come out we'd do atleast a dozen
fiends clutchin their necks and nose
Hustlers check for foes
24 liquor stores
It's so sweet
You'll find me in a bar on 14 and L
Sipping southern comfort looking weak and pail
mask on man do I stay with that
A beanie a hoodie or a flat baseball cap
Fondling my car keys wondering if she safe
A CLK black with tents smoke grey
No way I'm driving tipsy
I'ma sit in this bar till some brode come get me
I see lots of ice grills around the room
I'm guessing I'm not welcome
May God help them
Cause all it takes is one idiot
For me to be ignorant
Straight ignore the rules illiterate
Consider this
It's near closing time
I see shorty bar stool quite close to mine
Ain't we supposed to rhyme
When we step up our game and approach a dime
So I'm gonna tell her what I ususally say
And hope that it get her in my CLK



...

man your style seems basic...

I kinda see that you're going for a more laid back style... something I could hear in audio a little more natural than all that complexity noise...

but still you're not telling me anything... there is no wordplay... and nothing worth nothing really...

kinda boring read... and I know you can do better...

The wordplay was simple. But that shit is coulda hot, if i had it on the a cd i would play
it. Keep it coming pimping

Audibly, this would be madd tight. U do got a laid back approach which is cool, not spittin suttin complex and long mouthful words. U dont need to tell or show us anything in depth, u showed us and told us about a nite at a bar and what u think/feel. Thats what rap be bout.

Keep droppin. :thumbup:

1

thanks man..I am just trying to have really strong imagery because that's what great rappers are remembered for