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Breath OF death
post poned, amongst deaths throne
check of the neck no detected tone
pulse gon', soul-fled its flesh and bone
resurrected home, infected asylum
the withered naked shrieking of death as its dying
tear ducts stricken with fear subsides crying
lying,in unbearable agony
unaware of reality
a terrible calamity
lookin death in its pupils / ---*winces away*--
i cannot stare at the faces with no apathy
the type that shows grace at the tragedy...
yeh
rigormortis absorbed convulsions shortly after my oxygen depleted
brainwaves rested incompleted aeora stop speeding
corneas started to stop bleeding
no blood leaking,my ammune system
use to be in-tune and listened
now my t cells are newly in remission
my last breath the past that lasted right before death
was blood gurgling ,prayers and ex-cepts
my soul remains restless.......
yay
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Yo this shit was hot...really like da vocab in this piece...last couple of posts i have seen from u have been hot keep it up
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This was a good peice..the topic was nice..was really feelin the emotion in this..the vocab was also good... seen some multis, not as much as their could be though...you could use some work on your structure, some lines were stretched then some were short...but overal this was something nice to read...keep droppin stuff like this..hope to see more from you
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another tight verse, great vocab, structure and flow was good, some great imagery in the rhymes i really like your rhymes.
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thank u i kinda fancy them myself lol preciate the comments and the damn love..
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yo...................Hot Shit FAM..............Keep ya shit hot............
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I Wish You Would Marry Me Lol Your Liek A Battl;e Style Jean Grae This Was Fire Fam And Hit N Run Forever
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This shit was hot! structure did not go with the flow.
the topic was hot. Also good vocab
Keep it up.
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this was decent..your structure really threw off the flow...vocab was good...topic was unmisakenly miguiding......sounded like a Tarantino script<<
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dop peice fam it was very descriptive.......stay up
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