-
Hittin Up Rhymes
ya like an ex-druggy barely clean,
i hard ta brake like tryna get in Mary's jeans,
Im gunna make it rappin's savin me,
its like a hot babe bathin me/
hip-hop's untouchable beyond replacement,
beyond the real world like the matrix,
you got a malfunction I found was basic,
ya just cant rhyme its time ta get ya tape fix,
its as simple as slidin yo foot on a skate trick,
Im not a professional I dont give great tips/
but I can tell you need some work just face it,
you aint got waht it takes to make it, emergency braked it/
this is rap I aint gon be specific,
workin in the lab nothin scientific,
like Tony the Tiger its gon be great,
first compliment I get my karma's state,
gon be hard ta brake, leadin on sharks with bait,
this is the last line i'll make,
mixin up a recipe stirred than baked......
the last two lines were terrible but i placed them, didnt feel like takin the time to replace them, haha but you can get my nuts, if you dont like the rhyme i put, you can criticize if you'd like, you can say anything i bet i've heard it twice, good or bad....i hope more good than worse, removin this cloud above me be gone with the curse<<
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=157196
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=156633
-
yo come on give me some feedback good or bad i dont really care just hit it up
-
It's good. Really bad structure, though. Makes it hard to read and understand the flow. Still, definately a hot drop...7.6/10
-
come on people i need some feedback, good or bad i dont care...
and lemme guess I GOT BAD STRUCTURE
if you got the time try and give me some tips on structure then
-
come on people all i ask is for some feedback, i want to elavate, i need work come on!
-
Aight u want tips on structure> Lemme explain, i'll use a coupe of ur lines to show u.
Im not a professional I dont give great tips/
but I can tell you need some work just face it,
you aint got waht it takes to make it, emergency braked it/
That is an example of bars, a.k.a. lines that make it easier to follow ur flows and those were my favorite lines and prolly ur best ones. anywayz it was okay but im thinkin u can do better. the only way to get better is to keep spittin so do so.
-
i knew about bars, but yo thanks for the feedback, i know i can do better, but i dunno it just seems like here lately i havent been doin my best, and my good work seems to be bad so i definetly gotta elavate so peace out
-
-
Feedback Please People Feedback!!!!
-
that shit was nice ....try to put some multis in it and put the icing on tha cake...good drop.....peace
-
-
well it rhymed but like everyone else you can see the structure is all wrong, fix that and you gotta a nice drop. It just wasnt easy to read i had to read it a couple times cause i couldnt follw it as easily as rap should. Butyou nail ya structure soon.
Holla back
-
-
-
i need some feedback people this rhyme aint hot but i need something come on...........give me some feedback
