Quote:
From ancient forgotten lost scrolls this story is told in full
Two titans we all know and their epic battle for total control
The script the bible withholds because the outcome was unknown
Written in a foreign tongue, so I will translate it on my own
only the opening but a ill ass set up towads the body of your piece...
Quote:
Centuries after His first defeat Lucifer returned to his throne
Hell burned, and the Dark lord began feasting on flesh and bone
His power grown immensely, but still unable to reverse his curse
So long after his banishment Satan once more traversed the earth
i didnt like the last line too much but man this was nice first 3 lines were strong
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Finding weak minds to pervert, spreading lies and rumours abroad
Causing chaos and stating his intentions to be worshipped as god
Our world now flawed,everything his evil touches becomes corrupt
The Gates of Hell appear on earth, engulfed in flames they erupt
first two lines seemed a little forced overall but daym you bounced back with the last two loving the imagery you put into your piece...
Quote:
Now strong enough, he began to lust for things beyond his reach
All that he did was seen and now the wrath of God was unleashed....
as a closer for the first body this should have been one of the strongest points it was nice still but it could have been stronger
Quote:
The clouds divide as thunder and blinding lights split the skies
Countless cries from the devils minions as they avert their eyes
From the lights emerged Knights mounted upon white winged steeds
Followed by a robed figure, who strode through the air with ease
ooo lovin the imagery you put into this opening section
Quote:
The master of stars and seas,Gods army was now displayed in full
Arrayed in white and gold their horses halt with precise control
The two armies battled below as the arch-rival's took to the sky
many times the earth shook and fifteen days and nights passed by
my favorite part so far this shit was nice
Quote:
Unable to die, Satan was viciously defeated and bound in chains
left to endure a life's imprisonment in complete misery and pain
A script written long ago, by the devil himself inside his cage
Till the end of days nothing will compare to Gods wrath and rage
oooOoO ending was perfect very strong loved it...
overall: this was a very well constructed piece i also thought it was proper to structure it the way it was and how you centered it also made it right.... you had multis imagery vocab this was a complete piece one of the best reads ive had in a while. it was a privelage to read this and i give you props... hop you return the fav big upps..
