My new life

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...797#post142979
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...54#post1429854

I got kicked out my crib now DC is where I live
11th street nothwest you can find tha kid
Crime is what I live
Ain't nothing positive
except my girl and my crib
By the grace of God I live
Sure it's easy to get in and hard to get out
And the feds'll pay you if you open your mouth
Like if you snitch you can get 500 to 10,000
And baby mommas shouting in section 8 housing
Now then
In the hood you got criminals hoes and babies
unemployed non in void driving a mercades
what that tell you...that he is bagging it crazy
I sit back and move that till he pays me
say he....owe money then you will hear shots
I payed three hundred for my heater just to seal this block
But in a heartbeat it's concealed from cops
I can't get a job so when will it stop
But you don't know me
It's just me and my girl Romee
My one homie one and only hold me closely
suppose we....get raided she will stuff the bags
she from germany so she know about the mack
all I need is that she fire and I'm a match
hit it from the back till she scream and collapse
struggling perhaps
But it's worth it you need a cook? I'm the chef and I serve it

its 2 links now man :)

Simple but flowed well,heartfelt typa ish,afew simple multies,rhyme scheme helped it flow and it flowed pretty good,imagery was there,not bad.

Peace

simple.. very.. but still a pretty good read flowed well i supposed just make the scheme more complex yu know?

nice drop needed more vocab, other than that pretty good i like these lines the best
Sure it's easy to get in and hard to get out


And the feds'll pay you if you open your mouth
Like if you snitch you can get 500 to 10,000
And baby mommas shouting in section 8 housing

I felt the emotion in your awsome rhyming scheme. Awsome shit man.. Good Multies.. and good flow..

Flow was very good - until the last line I was just breezing right through it - rolled together nicely - first ten lines were the best - it went down a bit after that - but your voice came through pretty well throughout - seemed a bit ramblish towards the end - but nice drop overall - keep at it - peace

Nice drop, flow was aite, but went a little akward at the last lines. Thought it was a sincere piece, with your choice of words that got it through. Very nice man
Apart from the afformentioned quotes, this caught my eye too.

"say he....owe money then you will hear shots
I payed three hundred for my heater just to seal this block
But in a heartbeat it's concealed from cops
I can't get a job so when will it stop
But you don't know me"
^^ :)
Neways, keep at it man. props

thanks for reading my shit yall