Non Titled.

" a mother and child's relationship is tender "



i get lost in his glance - in some sort of inpositive trance
that causes relapse enough to make my cognitive collapse
my eyelids retract as i stare with an utter hope of love
but there's only hate - stuttered up from high and above
his name is 'son', - and yes he's mine, and yes i love him
with all my blood that gushes, from the wound of nothin'
consumed with rubbish, he's my angel - slash hellish imp
my only source of benevolence, yet to him i'm irrelevent
and it's irrelevence that's makes me yearn for meaning
unreturned 'love you's' have left me burnt in reasoning
as i call him to assist my cleaning, i recieve some silence
mixed with rebellious cries, that make my love un-pious
i race to his room - to meet his face of total disconcern
amongst the illegible curses - where his vocals may lurk
it's sick, my child is hellish, rebellious - i can't take it
so i grab him, strip him, tear his clothes, - he's naked
i retrieve my razor - i loved him - now i regret his birth
i slash my own wrists just for bringing this hell to earth
while he kicks and screams, i slash him - he's faceless
and as his tone raises - i thoughtfully wrap his face in
blankets - then his body til' he's a complete wrap up
then i proceed - out of his room and into the bathtub
this sacrificial baptism is my honorable offer to god
while pushing his face under i see his hair falter above
this awful dog of son! that came from a fools semen
i drown this fetal atrocity until his minute pulse ceases
. . for you . . finally i have rid my life of it's true scorn
and threw it out in a trash bag, since he was a newborn.

.. woah, i feel really weird and scared after writing that

thoughts are all appreciated .. thanks.

I havent posted here forever .. and sumhow i came back ..
for what you may ask? to catch up and read a Sand open mic ..
Indeed .. this shits iLL bitch .. Topic is unique, its hard to
Write dope shit to certain topics but you did this nice ..
Nasty Imagaries, what can i say? did i enjoy? Yes i did ..
Story was on topic and continued thru out on point .. Heres
some Lines i liked from this certain piece ..


while he kicks and screams, i slash him - he's faceless
and as his tone raises - i thoughtfully wrap his face in
blankets - then his body til' he's a complete wrap up
then i proceed - out of his room and into the bathtub
this sacrificial baptism is my honorable offer to god
while pushing his face under i see his hair falter above

Very nice .. especially the 2nd line from the bottom ..
sick sick sick sick and sick by the way this shits sick ..
I wanna thank sandy for bringing tone back for a reply
it was well worth my time .. dont sleep on this open mic ..
Or i will sleep with your mom .. no really, im serious

Pz niggerz

thanks tone, sorry i had to leave all abrubt like
i appreciate the reply .. peace

that was a tight verse man, i really enjoyed readin that, your vocab was good and it flowed well throughout the verse. ya got a good point across.
cant think of anything reall that bad..
props man

could ya say whatcha thin k of my open mics. links below

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119614 - alone


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=119620 - true love

Shit was deop for real man...the floe was perfect and the multis were nice....Damn...kinda feel depressed after this....But the emotion coming out of it was excellant...the imagry was good...although I kinda wish it wasn'y..lol...not sumthin I wanna imagine much...But a very good piece overall.

8.5/10
Please peep this http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=118852

This was a dope account of maybe an impatient mother, a pyschopath in her own right.

The flow was present and the rhyme structure was there, and as the story progressed you seemed to become less abstract and more straight-foward for the "action-scene"

Kind of leaves you to wonder if you feel sorry for the kid because he was murdered, or if you are relieved because she wasn't fit to be a mother.

i get slept on all sick n shit.

repeat statement above .. =/

That Verse Was Off The Proverbial Hook.. The Images Rushed Through
Out My Mind, Almost Scary Images, I Could See The Lady And The Babys
Pain In My Mind. This Is A True Masterpiece. The Flow Was Unscathed And
The Imagery And Content Just Blew Me Away. Usually Death Peices Suck.
But This One For Sure, Is One Of The , If Not The Best Piece Of This Kind
That I Have Ever Read. I Would Just Like To Say Great Job Alex

-'Real

why do you people sleep on me so damn much geeZus ..
am i that bad?

^^^Cause we don't know if your still in Insomniacs!..
Ok..all I have to say is..
The fuck goes through your mind..
This was one of the sicker o.m's I've read in a while..
It reminds me of "Brendas Got a Baby"or whatever it was..
But the imagry was beautiful..
Wording is what gave it that special edge..
Definately on the level of "Pain of Plane", however you spelled it..
Just a beautiful piece..legends worthy..

word

Sand...You have great "Touch" in writing..I will not say anymore...

Sorry to hear about your Legend Status :(

bwhahah, i don't care