Payment

I can still hear the slaves Scream from Witnessing horrific Scenes
I owe it to them to use words properly that they weren't allowed to Read
That i strive through Struggle and avoid self destructive Trouble
For the babies sold and ripped from his mom b4 hearing 'I love you'
To further my intelligence whenever I possibly Can
For every black Man tricked and snatched from his Homeland
Every slave turned to Animals and sold for Profit
Its owed that i Find,Use,and Share any attainable Knowledge
Anything thrown at me its my duty to stand and not be Afraid
See every Slave that said 'yes master' and poured a fucking glass of Lemonade
Be proud of my life start to the end love every once of my Melinen
For the thorns in a cotten plant that pricked and cut my people's Skin
I have to know, respect, and love my rich heritage and glourous Past
I feel its owed to my people before me who had to sit in a seperate Class
To not make a single move without at least two times i first Think
Is payment for the years we had to Drink out of sub-par Sinks
For every single step every single man took in every single March
I owe it to them to apply pressure with Thoughts and never Cool Off
Me being strong and brave enough to fight yet the mind to stay Calm
is a dedication for every single fucking cross burned on a Lawn
for every slave chant Sung and all the Nooses that were Hung
Its only right i Evolve from the mental mindstate i've Come From
To respect any lessons or words of wisdom an old man has Told
Forevery look over a Shoulder used on the Underground Railroad
And all my ancestors lost on the Boats or the times we couldn't Vote
These are all payments I feel from me are far Overdue
Please accept my 19 years as beginning payment for You


I'm not done yet this is the first verse.



http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...98#post1247998

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...05#post1248005

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"I can still hear the slaves Scream from Witnessing horrific Scenes
I owe it to them to use words properly that they weren't allowed to Read"

^That line was nice. Vis did a topic similar to this, months ago at LW, but this one was cool too. The flow was ok, for the most part. Emotions were aight. I would work on rhyme scheme a little, but besides that, this is a pretty decent drop. Keep doing what you do.

Please drop feedback here:
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...17#post1246817

i thought you got your topic across ok, with some emotion touched on,,,, but i thought your scheme lacked a bit.... some of your other stuff has a much smoother transitions to them... this wasthe main flaw in the verse, sort it out...lol... but if it aint finished you can jus change it a bit..... all in all, potential

Nice to see you back and droping...as aways this was very nice...
{I realy wanted to say "This was WACK!" :p}

uppiddy up up

content was dope - emotion was present - scheme was decent - saw some internals - didn't notice anything spectacular here but ok - flow was good - a few places where I had to read lines twice but you could definitely flow through this in audio - nice work