shine rap

See by Design
We all shine
Now its time to find
What’s in your own mind

So be kind
And find the shine
In all the people who got lost and left behind
the inner power of my rhyme

pick out their happy sparks
and le them know
so they can learn too what
how to flow
give them their show
their time
it works for you
on the rewind
and if confidence is the key
were all free
to fit together perfectly
and its good to be in a free state of me
so I can openly
instinctually
use my intuition
my position
to give wisdom
on how life is

so realistic and creative I make this
to have you to think this so sink this
beli'n'quish the
ish-ness come back to your soul ness
to be at one with your wholeness
and hold this
control this
and you’ll know this!
bliss

this drop was alrite, need to work on ur flow a bit more
try n make the lines longer, if u try harder i think u could come up with sumthing really good.

no offence intended

check out my song, tell me what ya think.
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=112106