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Thread: quick 14 lines tell me what you think

  1. #1
    Newbie
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    Jul 2003
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    Chicago
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    quick 14 lines tell me what you think

    Your lyrics lack the eloquence of musical ability
    this is a fucking rap battle and theres no hostility
    when the DJ calls out for you as the next rapper
    youll be in the back sittin and shittin the crapper
    many people in the world question your lyrical comprehension
    It's like I don't have to use my fists my rhymes create tension
    No matter how broke i go ill never quit spitting
    Even if i cant stop shittin and the rooms spinnin
    But im a christian so this shits considered sinnin
    so forgive me god ill get off this train to downtown
    ill just go home , say my prayers and lay down
    but before i do i must say you only follow me 'round
    you have to steal your lyrics tho theyve never been sound
    so get out of the way i cant lay down im headed for downtown

    ============
    this is another version of my last freestyle tell me if its better and ya i know i sorta lose it in the middle but tell me everythin rong and good with it ... this is also on eminem.net sn: Krine_Sixty-Nine

  2. #2
    Banned
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    You need to leave 3 links or 3 names of people you left feedback in or this will get deleted..

    but this was pretty good here, enjoyed it....structure was better in this one...Your vocab in this was real nice i liked that, keep that up...flow was alright got off at some points but still good...could have used some multies in this i thought....but overall this was alright...keep at it.

  3. #3
    Newbie
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    "I'm withdrawn from crack so bad my blood itches
    I don't rap to get the women - fuck bitches
    Give me a fat slut that cooks and does dishes" - Eminem

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    okay.. well then.. it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars
    keep spitting
    Artificial Intelligence

  5. #5
    80SHOTS
    Guest

    this was ok

    Originally posted by Speek.E.Z.
    ...it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars
    keep spitting
    i agree! but after you elevate, appreciate the help we gave you coz it will help you.

  6. #6
    Newbie the_insane_clown's Avatar
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    Originally posted by Speek.E.Z.
    okay.. well then.. it was very simple vocab.. your flow was alright.. topic was okay.. obvious you just started.. so keep reaching for the stars cuz u cant get them in 7 bars
    keep spitting

    I agree.
    "The Legion" takes no prisoners!!!

    my homepage is http://www.geocities.com/iluvblondes22/night_vision.html

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