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Thread: Photographical Proof

  1. #1
    Peepers
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    Photographical Proof

    This is purely fiction, all characters exist only the in artist's head for entertainment's sake...check the story


    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=93385
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=93205
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...699#post925699


    When you read this, don't expect another run of the mill open mic peice that you see on this board, can i get some real replies cause i put real work into this...It's worth the read tho


    Topic: You’re a camera, describe what pictures you take.


    A roll of pictures, images of happiness flicker
    Memories of a melted wick and a forgotten bicker
    I’ve taken many pictures, visions and images
    The stuff families reminisce peacefully in villages
    Speaking of families, here's a photo book that will unfold gradually
    Black and white, melancholy glances under my light
    A mother and her son, unconditional love in my sight
    Several poses filled with joyous smiles and red roses
    It’s a bright summer day they chose to dance with naked toes
    Through the forest and field, the honest I yield
    Blond hair dancing, blue eyes scanning the wondrous feel
    The generous mother kneels to offer her son palms closed
    Next picture, the son chasing her flying butterfly, her love grows
    Such is the first few pages of my album and it's traces
    Smiling faces and forgotten memories and sensations

    * Flip a few pages*

    A solo mother, being held by her husband in tears
    Culmination of fears from years as the end nears
    Here’s a picture of a locket, taken from the mother's pocket
    Inside there's a picture of her son, unknown is the topic
    But now he's only a distant memory, a source of pain
    Outside their dismal shack flies tragedy, of course it's rain
    But what happened to the young, carefree boy you ask?
    I can tell you from previous photos, something very rash
    He was kidnapped by a masked man, and later found dead
    The parents found him too late, only to find the ground red
    Their portraits have never been the same, reflecting their pain
    Blank stares, dirty, tired faces with tears and their stains
    Even me, the inanimate worthless camera feels their hurt
    This murdered better stay in the shade and under the dirt..
    .....for his own sake

    *Flip a few more*

    Oh dear god, these are the worst, confirmed with a nod
    Pictures of blood froma heart and mangled body parts upon the sod
    A crime scene photo of a bullet, silencing the farmhouse's whisper
    A photo an earlobe cut into pieces the size of a mouse's whisker
    A photo eyeball that deserves it's case, alone, still holding its nerves
    A photo of the saddened parents being taken away in cuffs
    I don’t lie, I’ve got photo evidence, this isn't the day for bluffs
    Flip the page, to previous days where the murdered surfaced
    The parents found his purpose, solved the crime and made the purchase
    Found what'll hurt this punk the most, a sawed off shotty
    Planned to lure him and leave the rats to knaw on his body
    The last photo of my album, the one that was made at that moment
    I created a lasting image of this second murder that's in their head, frozen....

    The mother shot her son's murderer....

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    played but straight

  3. #3
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    ^LMFAO ... Homeboy's trippin ... This was dope Peeps ... An original topic ... And dope too ... Very abstract ... Very well written ... Scheme and multi's were on point ... Didn't catch the flow fall off once in this piece ... Imagery was highly dope in this piece ... Everythin' came together well to make this piece dope ... The way U wrote the first verse opened this piece up a lot to me and made me keep readin' ... But how U changed the story was even better ... Keep doin' your thing man ... Oh and by the way ... From that post up there ... I should juss say this now ... Nice havin' u here for a day ... LoL ... Peace

    A.i

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    *Click one of ^those to check out my music and shit

  4. #4
    Peepers
    Guest
    now thats a reply kiddies^

    LoCo.....didn't even read it

  5. #5
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    rofl yea i did
    it got played at the end 'body shotty' fuck u dont come in my shit and hate

  6. #6
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    uppin' this so that my man can get some more replies on this ... stop sleepin' ... peace

    A.i

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  7. #7
    Formula
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    Loco. . You Seriously Gotta Problem Kid.

    Peepers. . I Haven't Been Able To Say This In Awhile. . So It Feels Good To Say-- You Had An Original Topic ! Props For That. Very Drop Read Man. Great Imagery Throughout The Piece. I Loved The Idea Of Writing This Piece From A Camera's Point Of View. . That Shit Was Nice. Well-Written On Your Part Man, I Loved How The Story Switched Up, From Talkin About The Son's Death Then Sayin That The Mother Purchased A Shotty To Kill The Murderer. Great Shit. Flow Never Once Fell Off When I Was Readin It. Very Dope Read For Me, I Enjoyed It. Keep Droppin The Gems.

    -Formula.
    Last edited by Formula; November 22nd, 2003 at 01:20 PM

  8. #8
    Peepers
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    word

    thx fellas

  9. #9
    BRB, Jumping Ship Baron Mynd's Avatar
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    I replied to this at RM and RnR .. im not doing so again, lol.

    <-- Baron Mynd

    You already saw my opinions on this.


    Pz.

    WORD P e r f e c t !


    RESERVOIR GODS


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  10. #10
    Peepers
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    ah yes, thx man

  11. #11
    Newbie BIGjoke's Avatar
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    naw good shit man

    keep the visuals up and defenitly the vocab

    not always flowin but thats cool

    one.....................................
    j/k


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  12. #12
    Peepers
    Guest
    ^^^^

    this is a good peice fellas, dont sleep

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