3 Stages of Death - The Realist, Summoned Titan

[The Realist]

The Realist
Summoned Titan


BLACKOUT
My sight went from red to black, then I reflect on that
I saw his knife I took a step forward then faltered back
Is she worth a life, last though as my heart contracts
The hood I wore was the best but now it had stains on the chest
Didn’t feel the ground as I laid to rest, then I gained consciousness

LIGHTS
As I rise the sounds arrive to fill and revive my minds eye
My limbs feel tight despite the effort moving is a losing fight
The darkest of sounds clouds out the night then I hear a cry
A soft moan slides from the sight I don’t see by the light
That tears seen by the blind, I can’t bear to look so I go right
I didn’t have to overhead what they said, it was my fate to see this… dead

Underneath
Sittin lonley, so cold show me whos bold when i stand to something someone told me//
I feel restless light weight, depression, something my mind's hated for years of seventeen//
I ask myself, why am i by myself, without the lesson i've been here, shaking and shivering//
Standing watching family members cry a tear for me when i've been here for years//
I'm here, but now i'm gone, turned to see my body, now i'm in a 'dead run'//
I figured cancer or shot by a gun, but this is my life, i'm steadily joggin, whats done is done//
I remember the knife, pressed to my plates, i take a second to remember my fate//
Ran through, done deal, my chest hurts so much, i still feel the cold steal//
My lifes been stolen, for something of the heard run, since blind men can't see, i'm deaf in the long run//
Its obserd, i lived my life the way i wanted, now its cut short, put to the end//
Turn the corner to fall in a puddle, water drips, but i still sit dry look up to see... that this is the end//

[-SIN-]

GANGSTAH FAM GANGSTAH keep it up this shit was ill

[Scittso]

nice drop dawg. . . i was feelin dis . . keep dis shit cummin B
one

[Sureal]

Realist Was Dope As Hell
I Think Titan Came Alright, But Real Stole The SHow.

[noncentz]

sureal said it as it is....both came well none the less a worthy read.

[GiMMiC]

Realest was decent..

The imagery and emotion was there, I think your vocab could use some work but that will come with time.

Now I feel that Titan threw of the verse, no offence. There was a great flow going for Realist and then it got thrown off.

Final Comment: Decent piece, I would like to see Realist continue with it by himself. Titan all you need to do is elevate a little..

[Baron Mynd]

Werdness. .
Realist outshone on this collab, he's working internals and multi's into his verses, keeping the flow short and to the point, holding the readers attentions, keeping to the topic nicely, all he really needs is some orignal thought-provoking lines, a strong writers voice, a slightly better word choice and a topic he that comes from his heart - then he'll be a pretty decent topical writer.

Titan's verse really lacked, the internals were there but they were basic, the lines had horrible structure and thats what threw the flow wto that verse as i read it. Overall though a decent topic, both could use more imagery and emotion in there pieces but still, elevation is the key.

Eace-Pay!

[Genesis_two]

that shit was fucken hot mad good drop -1-

[Juicy_J]

your not gonna get a mod spot

[yog_dogg]

thats sme good shit dogg nice drop return the favour checkout back in jail http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...threadid=80510

[Pugilist]

both of those verses were fuckin tight, some deep shit, good imagery, props to both.

Realist i'm lovin your style, and what you spit here shows mad skill. Def keep that shit up, cus i'm really feelin this spit.

Titan's style is unique, i felt his structure didn't hurt him here cus he kept up with good rhyming internally, i felt it was creatively put down.

good shit.

[gotaloveforrap]

yo i was feelin that shit, the flow was good, the vocab and wordplay were off the hook, overall that shit was phat. keep postin dude i really enjoyed readin that.

yo please return the favor by readin and respondin to My Thoughts and Chances, thanx

peace.....

[noncentz]

yo twin this was graphic the story was expressed well everyone fed right into it i read like i would listen to it and this needs an audio this was to hot twin im serious

[~ProPaiN~]

HOT ISH............NO DOUBT FAM

GANGSTUH.............i should say in one word...lol

[-SIN-]

yeah hot drop but you cats ain't gangstah like me and PRO

GANGSTAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !