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Thread: B.R.E Prezents: Devestated Love with Eviley'n' Withersman

  1. #1
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Eviley's Avatar
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    B.R.E Prezents: Devestated Love with Eviley'n' Withersman

    withersman

    The only girl that I ever loved//
    we have been seperated because of//
    the different lifestyles that we have//
    I was unholy but this angel made me glad//
    glad at the fact that I am still alive//
    in this corrupt, baneful world where I must survive//
    the only person who controlled my strife//
    the kindness in my heart was finally brought to life//
    my father said, "Michael once you get that strong woman//
    treat her right and the happiness will come in"//
    well I did everything that I could//
    but my old doings pressured me to do what I would//
    the aftermath of my actions came with horrific consequences//
    and everything was eliminated that was bliss//
    now the beef and fellonies keep on callin//
    and my tensions are causin me to start ballin//
    my girl was sick, sick of my actions//
    I love her so much but these actions keep ruinin her satisfaction//
    I tried my best so I wouldn't pursue it//
    but I made too many mistakes that now i just blew it//

    Eviley

    once upon a time i loved this boy and i knew it
    soo much that i gave up everything i said "screw it"
    but i am stuck now in this world alone
    having to still realize that he is lost and gone
    i felt empty inside like i had no more emotion
    cause for he was my life he was my living potion
    now what do i do what do i live for
    because once i was rich but now i am poor
    from the moment he left and walked out the door
    now all i have left is my tears to comfort me
    because maybe someday he will finally see
    how that angel of mine made me free
    cause for his actions he did
    he doesnt have to say sorry
    cause i love him so very much
    he just has to believe me
    fate brought us here it wasnt anticipated
    but sometimes it's fate that i truly hated

    withersman

    now baby girl is really devestated//
    and sooner or later I will be hated//
    by a special one, a truly special one//
    the only one who caused me to leave at home my gun//
    what should have I done to just calm her down//
    she's worried everyday for my well being in this peto town//
    I'd comfort her; I'd tried to eliminated all of her tears//
    and this girl loves as I could see it was crystal clear//
    I messed up in an imfamous way//
    being relentless caused this angel not to stay//
    I haven't heard from her in 6 months, 8 days, 12 hours//
    and my lonliness in enganging to over power//
    she was the only one who painted a perfect picture//
    in my heart, these words heart broken scriptures//
    of a devesated love

    Eviley

    now i sit here and think of him
    because loving him was never a sin
    those actions are done they are over with
    cause we were together it still overpowers
    i wish i can go back on that 6 months, 8 days, and 12 hours
    i can't call him or see him cause it's just too hard
    my love for him will begin to start
    cause knowing he is out there he will always have my heart
    i see a finished portrait of me and him
    and it will never mess up it will never end
    cause these are the tales of something true
    i looked at him and i see something new
    devestated love never exsisted
    because the love for you is always persistant
    let's just start over
    the past is behind us
    cause what we can have now is infamous
    cause we'll leave the past aside
    cause it's just the two of us with
    devestated love behind
    "Heaven sees no rage like love to hatred turn, no hell a fury like a Woman scorned

  2. #2
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    UPPIN FOR THIS PIECE!!!!!!!!!
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  3. #3
    Bmack
    Guest
    Pretty bangin piece, Couple of off points, But still a good piece...props to Withersman and Eviley...no offense i mean this in a good way...kinda reminded me of Common and Mya ...Not bad mix

  4. #4
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Eviley's Avatar
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    thanks for your advice.....and for checking out our shit
    "Heaven sees no rage like love to hatred turn, no hell a fury like a Woman scorned

  5. #5
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    lol Uppin for more
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  6. #6
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    UPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  7. #7
    BANNED for biting
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    U need to edit ur Lines...They were Ill...But they werent stated Well.............Anywayz this collab was Banging....Eviley cameout Ill as always....Withersman also did a great Job...Uppin

  8. #8
    WeeZy
    Guest
    Withersman Verse 1 - It was aight. Flow wasn't there, didn't have anything special in it, but I can tell it came from the heart. Not bad. Try to get some imagery in there, edit the flow a little bit, and get some multies to spice it up. Vocabulary usually helps too.

    Withersman Verse 2 - This was a little better than your first one. Ended it off nicely. Had a decent flow, better than the first. Again, try to add some creative writing skills in there.

    Eviley - Decent job ma. Had some simple rhyming tho, like your opener was pretty Elementary. Flow was ok. Like I said before, try to add some better Vocabulary, Multies, and Imagery helps. Also, if you use better imagery in a heart-felt piece, it shows emotion which is a Plus in writing.

    Not bad ya'll.

    pZ!

  9. #9
    Newbie Demon's Avatar
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    This shit wuz hot.......keep it up.........


    Respect |_

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    The Scars Of My Past Will Determine My Future |_

  10. #10
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    thanx UPPIN!!!!!!!!!
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  11. #11
    BANNED for biting
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    Yo Weezy...This drop didnt need vocab...Because its deep...Its about Love............So no need for vocab in this Piece

  12. #12
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    THANX DAWG UPPIN UPPIN UPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  13. #13
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    UPPIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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  14. #14
    catholic schoolgirls rule Sand's Avatar
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    i wish i can go back on that 6 months, 8 days, and 12 hours
    i can't call him or see him cause it's just too hard
    my love for him will begin to start
    cause knowing he is out there he will always have my heart


    ^ guessing that isn't me....^

    i'm too . Umm devastated....Confused...
    Angry, Sad, Relieved, Depressed, Pissed...

    Whatever That Feeling Is...Hello Feeling...

    Well Fuck...Slug Is Coming July 16th. My Backstage
    Passes Are Now Available...I Guess I'll Have To Talk
    To Him About...Stuff....Even Though He Won't Care..

    No One Cares.....

    Eva...When You Tell Me He Doesn't Have Your Heart.
    And I Do . How Come Your Song Says He Does....
    We Haven't Talked For 15 hours and 34 minutes...and
    it feels like i'm missing something. why couldn't u
    just tell me you still loved him....how come i have to find
    out like this....damn.....down to the exact day

    because the love for you is always persistant

    hmm.....

    cause what we can have now is infamous
    cause we'll leave the past aside
    cause it's just the two of us with
    devestated love behind

    ...sand has been pushed out of the
    picture....he is falling....


    noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo


    bye......

    *my love is also persistant.....* < that's too bad
    follow me on Instagram @updowndaps

  15. #15
    Arsonist, Outlaw, Watcher Withersman's Avatar
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    aa............................................
    ok.........................UPPIN
    RIP MANET

    OPEN MICS

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