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Thread: ~LifE...WeLL NoT ExactlY~ (MeNTiLL & Atetrack define')

  1. #1
    is Power Nahlidge's Avatar
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    ~LifE...WeLL NoT ExactlY~ (MeNTiLL & Atetrack define')

    MeNTiLL:

    a normal day in tha life of MeNTiLL...well sorta...

    always tha type to live life by normal standards, searchin' for answers
    to questions like why we die from AIDS and cancer, dasher and dancer
    i remember bein' told that story on christmas eve, i often misbelieved
    or disagreed, about tha times when I'd be old enuff to be called a mister me
    but never seen that it was actually gonna happen, never saw satisfaction
    in bein' among tha dead population in manhatten, i was juss rappin'
    on tha corner wit my boys, u know tha deal, spittin' it sickly
    then bullet shellz met tha ground, but i thought they missed me
    till i looked down and seen blood, realized that it hit me,
    so i fled to tha hospital quickly to see if they could stitch me
    at tha front desk tha receptionist dissed me, i asked her to list me
    cuz i was in need of medical care but she juss stared like I wasn't there
    it got to tha point where I was yellin', but she must've been hearin' impaired
    then tha smell of blood infected tha air, then at that moment i turned around
    and seen my body on a stretcher, tha same pose i was layin' in on tha ground
    i misinterpreted tha sound, as i was confused, my mind started racin'
    i seen tha paramedz rushin' my body to an empty room that was adjacent
    to tha place where i was standin', but i didn't know wat tha fucc was goin' on
    then when I walked into tha room, I seen my mother holdin' on
    to my arm, I thought to myslef wat tha hell was she on?
    "Hey Yo Mom! Im right can't U see me?" I screamed as I tired to touch her wit my palm
    but juss as soon as I felt tha warmth of her cheek, my hand floated right thru her
    then i thought to myself, "I must be dreamin' so wat kinda harm could I do her?"
    i looked out tha window and seen tha sun racin' across tha sky, minutes quickly passin' by on tha clock
    and tha doc's tryin' to revive me, as another next to my mother is screamin' "He's goin' into shock!!!"
    my body starts shakin' and turnin', then all of a sudden it becomes motionless, no movement
    as they inform my moms, she starts cryin' and talks about tha only son, and how she's losin'
    tha only thing that's helpin' her make it thru life, so she can hope to see a brighter day
    then above me i see tha skies open and a bright light ready to welcome me home, but i thought about it for a second then turned away

    MeNTiLL walks away from tha light he sees comin' from tha sky...so his soul is still presently roamin' tha earth...somewhere...

    Atetrack Define:

    damn...im in the hospital,howd i get here man,what ,what happened...


    sititng here in this emergency room, i sat upright lookin past this strange gloom//
    my family in the room, my mommas crying,my dads sayin soothin words,like//
    it was only a matter of time'en, the car didnt bother stopp'en, the doctor//
    sat in the corner, checkin his wristwatch,"were the hells that damn coroner//
    in he walked,checking his list"everythigns in order,time of death was 11:15pm//
    time now 12:45, oh im sorry...excuse me ma'am, the tears continued to roll down her cheecks//
    what is this, what called for this emotional release, im not deceased, see i exist//
    mom dad why cant you hear me? i must be dreaming this, getitng up i walked to the door//
    theres blood in my mouth, promptly spit, this is to much i have to get out//
    wlaking through the corridors, i examine the faces, walks of all live, colour creed races//
    then theres one that kinda shimmesr in the light, they lookin puzzled, this is just a dream right//
    keep reminding myself that, so i can wake up soon, laying on my back ,with that damn dog on my lap//
    everything'll be cool, everythign'll be aiight, ill wake up tomorrow, this was just a dream right?//
    i couldnt shake the thought that it wasnt, but i kept walking, saw black figures stalking//
    they look like monsters, man this is crazy, that dream excuse is wearing real thin really//
    walking outside now, everythin seemed different, the people in the streets were grey//
    the buildings in the distance now less disticnt, i crossed the road and got onto the train//
    people just pushed pass me not seeming to feel any form of anger or pain, looking out the carriage window, it began to rain//
    i struck up conversation with the homeless man next to me, he swiftly fell, praying to god to rid him of this blasphemy//
    ha ok then, why did i bother your a lunatic anyway, then with segue, the masses conformed//
    stepped to the platform, and continued off on they mad storm, it was freezing out there, but i was still warm//
    this was mad strange, but it was only a dream, it must be, im not crazy, walked through my district//
    seein familar faces, waving in freindship, and receiving less of a payout, then heroine junkies at bankers//
    my heart sank, i couldnt feel nothing,i ve never felt so alone, but i was almsot home, i stopped in my tracks//
    looks at the sight before me and gasped, a stencil outline just by my door step, tire marks//
    and police tape, media crews, whats all this for, then i saw a flash in the gloom, it was sharp//
    the car hit me with no regard, the drunk driver didnt seem to notice he tore my organs apart//
    with a start my form buckled, and i turned into mist, elevating high, god please help me, im only dreaming this//

    after numerous nights of this dream...he never awoke...then he realized it was reality

    A.i

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  2. #2
    ... Chrit.'s Avatar
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    damn...
    deep spit here....

    felt the whole thing.....

    one of the few that really has held my attention...

    keep writing ya'll look forward to seeing more

    also can you peep my open mic
    the life I lead
    its my first one
    AI

  3. #3
    BANNED for biting
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    Arguably one of da Best Open mic collabo I have ever Read......................I loved this collabo dawg,,,,,,,,,,Wordplay was Hot.......Both Emcees Style Mixed together.........And it came out hot.................I have a feelin that This drop will recieve Lots of Replies...................................Overall u cats get a 10/10...........Keep spittin cuzznz...............Ill crew collabo

  4. #4
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    This was a damn good collab. The whole thing was good. The content, wordplay, flow, all of it.

    I normally like to pick out parts I like and say why, but this story came together so well that if I picked one part, I'd have to pick the rest of them. This definately gets a 10/10.

  5. #5
    Atetrack define'
    Guest
    nodoubt crit,ill get to it tomorrow,be 4 am here,so i gotta be gone for a while,no doubt ill be back,thanks for the comments,,,

    thank bash for the reply,glad you liked it

  6. #6
    Atetrack define'
    Guest
    one.....one.....were going for one....

  7. #7
    Atetrack define'
    Guest
    uppin for the man mentaly ill...

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