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Thread: Soft Focus Presents: Untitled

  1. #1
    .existance.
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    Soft Focus Presents: Untitled

    SoftFocus Presents:
    A Collaboration By Existance And Filed
    Untitled

    ~Filed
    lost words tumble aimlessly in my minds outerspace
    fading out to nothing in the dampness behind my face
    breaking apart from one another, forming untrue parts
    gradually tearing ones from my life who make up my heart

    things were so dark so dreary everything seemed at a lost
    my heart was quickly dying turning black from hates frost
    then in the eternal distance one tiny spark did relight
    i knew what it represented and longed for it with all my might...


    .existance.
    every word i breathe i mean completely,
    what i mean is, its you that completes me.
    this feeling defeats me, not having you here,
    i do just about anything to have you close and near.
    lets toast to fear, our worries or our problems,
    but you know me girl, i will always solve them.
    you're the best thing thats happened to my existance,
    so chill wit the resistance and ill chill wit the persistance.

    ~Filed
    he knows only too well how to place his words to catch me
    snares me in them, promises me the single copy of his hearts key
    but did he catch me, or did i fall into this land purposely
    coz i have this feeling inside that i kept disrespecting
    i know how i long for this to be set out in the end
    only problem is fear with its deathly tight grip i cant bend
    i look deep into his familiar soul he cant hide through his eyes
    and realize that when this end comes i cant bare a permanent good-bye


    .existance.
    now no worries . . . this isnt time for good bye
    juss the thought of you gone makes me think i could die

    i juss stood by when i should try, somewhat harder
    to listen to my heart or, stop my brain's flowing water

    -Filed
    If the very thought of me gone can bring you to tears
    then why did you take to her, leaving me with total fear

    Thick darkness surrounded me, seeped inside covered my heart
    but you reappeared in my life wishing only for a new start

    .existance.
    girl you know me better than that,
    i was juss five when you met me.
    i never meant to stray frum you,
    or take away frum you, im ready.
    this time i'll devote my body and,
    soul to you, this aint a fallacy.
    this is not for profit but im the prophet
    that promised the world,
    here's heaven's palace, see . . .

    ~Filed
    yes once i thought for sure i knew this man
    but then he jumped and left me with no guiding hand
    in a new world i joined, i entered scared and unsure
    but i picked up my feet, moved across hell's floor

    now here you stand strong once again in front of me
    if i were you i wouldnt have stayed, but turned and fleed
    for i thought i was going to kill you the next time we met eyes
    but for that i was mistaken, so lets think about another try

    .existance.
    see now i used to rob and get off first, but dont call me durst;
    but puttin myself in this situation is by far the worst
    sin, i've been in, but take it for what its worth.
    this is really big, like bigger than the earth;
    i've always wanted you, i knew it since birth.
    now take it for whats its worth, i was trippin;
    i caught myself slippin when i realized i was dippin.
    i was caught in the ocean of emotion,
    guilt runnin thru my mind, imposin erosion.
    now look at the kid, he frozen, posin;
    take me back and i'll never again violate your trust;
    you're forever my friend, my lover, my love, its for us.

  2. #2
    .existance.
    Guest
    Uppin For Some Replies, Damn, Not Even Soft Focus Did . . .

    Poetry Gets Slept On . . .

  3. #3
    I Am The Light deacon's Avatar
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    Alright this collab made me feel all sappy inside......and that scares me....lol.... I really enjoyed the way you guys kept even bars throughout the piece...Really nice structure and planning on this...I can say this kinda thing happens everyday...and its great to be able to work with the opposite sex.. I really enjoyed Files opening verse...

    "lost words tumble aimlessly in my minds outerspace
    fading out to nothing in the dampness behind my face
    breaking apart from one another, forming untrue parts
    gradually tearing ones from my life who make up my heart

    things were so dark so dreary everything seemed at a lost
    my heart was quickly dying turning black from hates frost
    then in the eternal distance one tiny spark did relight
    i knew what it represented and longed for it with all my might..."

    Great imagery along with deep regrets and meaning...this opened up the piece perfectly..I like the dark feel of the second part...very nice...


    Existance did a great job on his first opener as well...

    "every word i breathe i mean completely,
    what i mean is, its you that completes me.
    this feeling defeats me, not having you here,
    i do just about anything to have you close and near.
    lets toast to fear, our worries or our problems,
    but you know me girl, i will always solve them.
    you're the best thing thats happened to my existance,
    so chill wit the resistance and ill chill wit the persistance."

    I mean its happened to most guys who dont sit in their computer rooms all day and cyber...The real deal***Its tough to find the right words, but this guy feels trapped and secluded and the only words he can express is true honesty...makes me feel like this guy isnt so bad at all....


    Overall guys great work....you both deserve a clap and maybe a award for it...hehe....one thing wheres the title did you decide its better unsaid...get back at me

    -1-
    softfocus



    while you write to rapbattles I perform on stage

    How's it feel to lack in comparison?............

  4. #4
    the medicine man
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    aiight,

    the only thing wrong with this was the length.
    but other than that i enjoyed it.
    yes once i thought for sure i knew this man
    but then he jumped and left me with no guiding hand
    in a new world i joined, i entered scared and unsure
    but i picked up my feet, moved across hell's floor
    ^^^i liked these few lines^^^

    some nice immagery, topic was on point.


    please peep my latest drop.

    aight
    peace

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  5. #5
    Shi
    Guest
    this was long...worth the read yes but long none the less...it seemd at times yall were juss a smich awae when u spoke but...it was good flow was nice an the whole callab thing was better done than sum otha shit i dun seen...more power to yall good job...

  6. #6
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    thank you all for readin and repling to this, even if it was a little long, it drew out a whole story.

    Deacon, thanks for the long reply. we couldnt decide on a name for the piece, so we decided to leave it untitled

    double-0 seven thank you for pointing out those few lines you liked, because those few i wasnt sure if i liked them all that much and wasnt sure if i wanted to put them in.

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    Last edited by Spoken; November 18th, 2003 at 05:19 PM
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  7. #7
    .existance.
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    See Tera I Told You, It Was A Good Lead In To The Ending . . . Uppin For More Replies

  8. #8
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Twizted Ayngel's Avatar
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    true... this was real long. Thats probably why its taking me so long to respond... annnyway... that was probably the only problem. your first few longs grabbed me in.. made me want to just FiNiSH the whole poem.. so i did.. anyway though... the imagery, topic, flow.. everything was ill... there was nothing OFF in this piece. Amazing drop.
    <center>RIP - 7.18.O2..7.19.O2..7.22.O2
    7.24.O4 ... 11.o8.o4
    o4.o9.o5
    7.o2.o6
    7.o7.o6
    Forever in my heart.

  9. #9
    .:LadySage:.
    Guest
    ah man,
    this hit sort of close to home


    ok...i liked it, i think it was stronger in the begining
    lets toast to fear, our worries or our problems,
    but you know me girl, i will always solve them.
    that was nice right there
    throughout the piece the message we clear....imagery easy structure...nice collab
    looking foward to see some more maybe

  10. #10
    .existance.
    Guest
    There Will Be More . . . Thanx For The Replies, Uppin`

  11. #11
    Certified Vet Content's Avatar
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    Existance...Filed....

    sometimes certain people have certain people
    that they work well with..contunitity is a very
    wonderful thing and its definately worked out
    well with both of you on this here..untitled

    this could have many different tiitles but you both
    represented well from the very start but the fact
    of the matter is that this was great and worth reading
    myspace.com/tnetnoc
    myspace.com/understream

  12. #12
    .existance.
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    We Figured It Was Nice Enough Where It Didnt Need A Title . . .

  13. #13
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    thank you for all your replies and taking time to read this.

    i dont think we would have ever founf a title that suited it that we both agreed on, but maybe our next piece will have one, seeing as you say there will be more..... lol

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  14. #14
    .existance.
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    Of Course There Are More To Come . . . I Like Workin Witchu

  15. #15
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    hmm lets see it we can get some more replies to this, pls.

    ~Tera~
    DONT HATE
    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

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