My Acceptance Speech.

[Mimic]

Acceptance Speech - Mimic


Impaired purity's - abnormal conquered this innocence long before -
Before this anger and anguish with thoughts that strayed to a mission abort.
Before I would pin point somebody's flaws without knowing the cause
and before I would pronounce myself dead without an outline of chalk.
Silhouettes spontaneously connect almost motionless on the wall,
I blame the lace within these cigarettes as inanimate objects begin to talk.
They call me crazy - Not at all. Creativity is what I represent,
making fortresses out of broken damns is nothing less than heaven-sent.
We're jaded within this blur - yet we chose to idolise icons and figures,
the same masqueraded ones who can't act themselves in a room of mirrors.
Once you realise that when you fractionise strong opposed to the weak -
You paint a picture of so much immorality the canvas size exceeds -
Setting the standards high yet wonder why public image is lacked?
Well - hear confessions off a burden bearer and watch how grizzly you all act.
Imperfections are just pure perfections to those same people they belong,
If you are different from thy' neighbour then you are classified as wrong.
I digress in every word I cast - equipped with an objective tongue,
my ideal world means no muscle mass could define who was strong.
Perfection doesn't live here yet the thought of it has it's reasons -
and as those same reasons persist the hole you dig begins to deepen,
acceptance is what we insist - but really it's all just foreign regions,
as you wind in a Jekyll & Hyde life which serenades your angels and demons.
We raise carnage when our life's are in need of a harness,
Sheer desperation to strive for what we want could ignite - It's alarming.
On the edge of a knife it feels like we're nothing but a hollow carcass -
Yet a tiny piece of mind could solely light up every part of this darkness.
Dull is the cause as this spectrum of colour starts to wear thin,
I refuse to believe that parts of a rainbow can signify the type of mood you're in.
Stress levels adapt as you accept the fact there's no escape from the prism,
Pop an anti-depressant and rely on that as an effective coping mechanism.
If you're not who you want to be you struggle with a burden,
A person; So down to earth yet it's almost impossible to make him surface.
Controlled by puppeteers those same "role-models" perform our swings,
If you're not them, you're not yourself and everything else depression brings,
Unscathed arrogance to these comparisons so you treat them all like Kings -
The only escape in this entrapment is to put your heart before your strings.

- My acceptance speech.



Feedback links:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...=1#post8561722
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...p-switchblades

[ILLunatic]

ATTENTION .Mimic,

This automated notification is a friendly reminder for you to provide (2) links to other member submissions that you left adequate feedback to.

[Mimic]

Can I get any feedback please guys?

[Atti]

I actually really liked this. it had a thoughtful approach that is poignant and concise yet still very approachable with a smooth meter that isn't so over simplified that you feel like you're stop and go at all times. it actually reminds me a bit Maven. not sure if you/anyone remembers him but trust, it's a compliment. it was just a beautiful balance of poetic introspect vs efficient and structuring and perfect word choice with a nice sense of progress internally. it's almost a bit of a rant, which, for once was done correct. few quotable favorites being:

Before I would pin point somebody's flaws without knowing the cause
and before I would pronounce myself dead without an outline of chalk.

The only escape in this entrapment is to put your heart before your strings.

I digress in every word I cast - equipped with an objective tongue,

[Mimic]

It's appreciated, thanks.

[Mimic]

up'n, will return any feed.

[Mimic]

up'n

[Elvis Freshley]

Before I would pin point somebody's flaws without knowing the cause
and before I would pronounce myself dead without an outline of chalk.

I refuse to believe that parts of a rainbow can signify the type of mood you're in.

The only escape in this entrapment is to put your heart before your strings.


^^^ My favorite lines. Especially the "pronounce myself dead without an outline of chalk." bit... that was wonderful.


I feel like the piece was ripped directly from the diary of someone dealing with a lot of anxiety/depression problems. It was a very organized clutter. Like fine tuned chaos. I enjoyed reading it. I think the message is sort of lost sometimes in the middle here and there, but it definitely comes back at the end. If you're not the one pulling the strings you're the one dancing. I think with such a deep concept you'd need to write more though. I felt like you were just picking up steam and you decided to end it. Not that it felt unresolved, but it could have certainly progressed. Nice man.

[OG Maestro]

I'm just going to say, the theme is nice my son. The Acceptance Speech should be a part of everyone's lives because we all have problems. We should vocalize them and help others gain comprehension about them. It takes a lot out of a writer to get personal with their writing and be real.

I digress in every word I cast - equipped with an objective tongue,
my ideal world means no muscle mass could define who was strong.

This made me mad. It was so good, but it felt like it could have been more if you tweaked the wording.
Regardless, it was dope.

Keep dropping yo shit Mimic.

[Mimic]

Appreciated folks! Hitting up feedback back in an hour

[Mimic]

bump

[doctorJ82]

Worrrrd, definitely a mouthful. I agree with above, that this feels like a journal/diary entry. Touched alot on expression, chaos, pride, misunderstanding, desperation, carnage, anger, fear, addiction, etc-etc. I respect too that it slyly covers some deeper darker mental issues, that I think we all have at times in our lives. Word-choice & vocab was something I appreciated here. Format-wise, there were some noticable rhyme-stretches - and I felt like again it was ALOT of dense thoughts, wordy, & a little cluttered, so the flow was a little run-on... but I think that affect went into the overall *mind clutter* of this piece. I slightly agree again with above, that the middle sorta ran on, and lost my attention. Definitely personal, and deep, and I bet it was definitely something you felt while writing. Almost felt like more spoken word, than a rhymed rap.

My favorite parts were:

"...Once you realise that when you fractionise strong opposed to the weak -
You paint a picture of so much immorality the canvas size exceeds -
Setting the standards high yet wonder why public image is lacked?
Well - hear confessions off a burden bearer and watch how grizzly you all act..."

[OG Maestro]

Appreciated folks! Hitting up feedback back in an hour

Can you hit this piece with some feed Mimic?

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...5-Genesis-Blue

[Endeva.]

just seen this bro, ill give it a read later today and edit in my thoughts

[Mimic]

bumping