Lithium Flower

[Johnny 6-feet]

Concept and some lyrics taken from the Stand Alone Complex song of the same name: http://www.animelyrics.com/anime/gho...hiumflower.htm


http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329355
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=329350



Lithium Flower

She's incredible math...
Just incredible math...
She's incredible math...
Just incredible math...

Is she only human? It's something humans do
To bury themselves in thought, swing moods and screw
She's incredible math, and in a hell of a class
Beyond anything i've seen, ghost in the shell of a mass
Fibre optics with top tricks, got the prosthetic
limbs, makes me crack a grin, not that i'd sweat it
She's on the net, on the pulse, plus good with guns
A philosopher, crime stopper, swamped in blood and funds
Can punch through a brick wall, fragments will hit all
Fight criminals like crastration, make a dick fall
She's a goddess, lithium flower, modern technology
Probably marks the future and end of robberies
Blooms into full effect when fighting, pulling tecks
With techniques to deck geeks but never breaks a sweat
I'd like to surf with her, explore new turf with her
Stomp across the earth with her, see the birth occur
Of revolutions, solutions to contradict newton
From tokyo to houston destroy the modern illusion
Crack cases, blast safes and silence a laughing man
Hack a military complex, only the fastest can
She's a manufactured beauty with a clock for a heart
A modern piece of art, picture perfect and smart
Electronic angel, come take me to deliverance
Show your human side mixed with your killing sense

She's incredible math...
Just incredible math...
She's incredible math...
Just incredible math...

[Kris Stubbs]

ABSOLUTELY had a great flow. dude this peice was nice. Youdef. should have kept it comin. I think longer would have def. been dope. Your vocab surprises me everytime. good job with that. The story line was good, i think you stayed on target with your topic. Overall def. a good peice. I think our hnr collab is goin to be dope.

[Boxin Mics]

not bad i was feelin this for such a short piece. i think honestly you shouldve kept goin with it. and flowin it was nice and smooth. had multis in it. the structure was on point. overall Johnny it was incredible. only thing i can say is... try making your next one longer. ever read a short piece and you get pissed cuz you feel theres more that needs to be said? well yeah this was one of those pieces. but keep the good work up, man.. either way it was dope. straight up i hung on every word.

[ChillMusic]

This was a very interesting piece. Nice multies and awesome flow. Something about your sentence structure made it sound very on-point and professional sounding. I definitely enjoyed it, and I disagree about it being too short (if its only to be one verse)

I'd rate it...
8.5/10

I would have given it a 9 but the fact that your descriptions gave us all "adjective" descriptions and never actually told what the "noun" you were describing was, left me kind of hanging in the end. I dont know if you intended that to happen, but either way, interesting/good piece man.

[Johnny 6-feet]

Cheers for the feedback fella's. Uppin^

[jp3]

dope peice and nice on the multies--------------------------------------------------------------overall ill give it a----------------------------------------------------------9/10----------------------------------------------------------nice peice again-------------------------------------------------

[Joel Venom]

ie shit man foreel good vocab and nice flow multis were okay..damn i need tos tart topicalz nah meen but overall good drop but still imporvement can be done...

[TeLLaKoNeSiS]

Wow

killer multis i liked the scheme too man different from usual very nice
topic was good choice too, you got a god mind for topics LoL

i read this twice vocab was nice and i liked how you strung some parts together to sound nice when said aloud...

All in all very very nice piece man as usual LoL

Keep dropping them!

PaRa

[HighEngineChief]

I loved the flow in this, it was very smooth and forth going. The rhyme scheme was nice i like the last few lines the best in that perticular area.

She's a manufactured beauty with a clock for a heart
A modern piece of art, picture perfect and smart
Electronic angel, come take me to deliverance
Show your human side mixed with your killing sense

Those were my favorite lines out of the whole piece, just executed nicley with the flow and "killer delivery" no pun intended. All in all dope shit

RTF on my OM's

[Ntalek]

This piece could've been HOF material if it were a bit longer...but for what it was it was still a great write and read...I loved the flow of it...you're multi usage was great...and I'm big on that..yet you worded this piece with good choice...overall it was a great read...keep it up..and RTF...

[el paco loco]

ayo johnny this was a very intresting piece....and even tho you got the concept from someone else.....you turned it into your own......it takes real talent to do that....big ups to you homie............................................. ..

[Johnny 6-feet]

^Uppin^

[Lauren.]

wow...I had been meaning to read this piece for a while. The imagery in this piece was unbelievable, and your voacbulary was good too. The flow was on point the entire time. I liked the way that you described your topic without stating it outright...leaves a mystery for the reader to decode. This is without a doubt the best open mic I have read in a long time. Keep up the dopeness

[Prince Escobar]

Interesting read man, i was suprised how you were able to maintain intrigue throughout seeing as how you were simply describing this woman. Interesting title, and yet an apt one when looking at the woman you described. I noticed a few spelling errors, and at a few points your choice of words was a bit crass. For instance this line "Can punch through a brick wall, fragments will hit all
Fight criminals like crastration, make a dick fall" you misspelled castration, and like i said 'make a dick fall' sounds a bit awkward but overall i liked the flow you had in this piece and i liked the italicized part being repeated at the end as well. Nicely done. Could you do me a favor and return the feed on 1 of my 2 poems?
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...co-330310.html
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...co-330305.html

I'd really appreciate it, keep writing homie. 1luv.

[Anosthetic]

the vocab and flow in this piece blew me away the first time i read it... the multis stuck out the second time i read it... and the storyline came to the forefront the third time i read it. i really enjoyed reading it and i like your flow. i just wish it was longer. overall... dope piece.