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Thread: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

  1. March 6th, 2007, 02:03 AM #1
    2nd Verse
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    She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    She Told Me To Talk The Rainbow
    By: 2nd Verse

    I Stare At My Disgraced Town, And Look To My Disgust,
    A Bow Of Red, Blue, Green, Above, & I'm filled with mistrust.

    ....
    She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow....... but it's mocking my fall..
    Did I ever take it in vain? No... But I'm often appalled.
    Mirrors have never been clearer, so I smashed, threw mine away,
    & I wait for the light of days to fade.. before I peruse the night & stray.
    It wasn't trickery, or confusion, but I'm brought to quite the conclusion,
    That I failed from the start, not knowing mirages could get lost in illusions.
    I fought the delusions, forced to believe dreams could be real,
    Seclusion? I SHOULD be sealed.. I'd rather be on display than be healed.
    Most people are back stabbed for a reason, and earn a blessin',
    But I was back stabbed by my own LOVE..... to learn a lesson
    I sit in shame, every morning, wondering if I'm dumb to begin,
    My day, knowing I'll never get to see the rain befall the sun rays again,
    I was entrusted, believed, I never meant to hurt or deceive,
    But there had to be someway to the stars, someway to achieve,
    I was Naive.... and as I grieve over my own loss & sores,
    I grieve twice as hard..... knowing I let her down even more,
    Even if it was just for a second, or two, if I could sound fit words,
    I would have said I'm sorry..... Before I hit the ground with her.
    She landed first, and now I weep every time I see the street,
    Where rainfall and sun rays meet, each week..... to my deceit..
    I've payed the price, in every way a soul & body could give,
    I Cry In My Sleep..
    & wash my pillows every morning before I decide to live,
    She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow....... But how my fall was a mock..
    Did I ever take it in vain? ...........No...... And now I can't even walk...

    I'm paralyzed from the waist down...
    Last edited by 2nd Verse; March 8th, 2007 at 02:41 AM
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  2. March 6th, 2007, 06:52 PM #2
    2nd Verse
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    Link 1:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328942
    Link 2:
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328938
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  3. March 6th, 2007, 06:59 PM #3
    Lyricist™
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    hey, i enjoyed reading this and getting the whole concept you was getting across. Good vocab and wordplay. You executed basicly everthing else there is. Concentrate on the way you use things and what words you have in irregular positions. overall good piece nice reading it and ill be checking up on more work of you peace.

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  4. March 6th, 2007, 07:04 PM #4
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    This was a nice display of vocab here...I loved how you incorporated larger rhyming words instead of the typical end rhymes...made it seem a lot more complex in visual and content...overall it was a good read nothing much to say about it...but you have potential to become a great writer with much more practice..but keep it up...and RTF...in sig..either one you chose..


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  5. March 6th, 2007, 07:51 PM #5
    2nd Verse
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    ty guys so much for your kind words

    i hope i too can become a great writer 1 day just like u said!
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  6. March 8th, 2007, 02:42 AM #6
    2nd Verse
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    Up for more feed plz.
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  7. March 8th, 2007, 03:22 AM #7
    Boxin Mics
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    alot of emotion I seen behind this piece. vocabulary was brought to the max and I loved it. how you put it together I just kept feeling the flow all the way through. seemed alot more complex in content than most pieces I read from newer MC's on RB. nothing threw me off I liked how you structured it. flow was nice and smooth I think you stayed consistant with it. keep the good work up and I will be checking up on more pieces from you.


    peace...
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  8. March 9th, 2007, 12:41 PM #8
    2nd Verse
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    up more feed please
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  9. March 11th, 2007, 04:32 AM #9
    2nd Verse
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    Re: She Told Me To Walk The Rainbow

    my shit must be terrible or somethin' damn
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