Humble Magnifico

[Neruda II]

My socks are wet.
It's something I hate.
Stumbling through a cold 12:38 a.m.
mumbling lyrics at flickering streetlights.
I'll blame it on the midnight snow-
maybe on the inept ability for me to be anything but
humble.
But I wont place guilt on the Krylon hearts
that lace these walls I've built over the years.
I'm good,
to a fault.
It's not a flaw that too many would cry over,
but still more than you'd think.
It's pointless to point fingers though,
I enjoy shooting the breeze
with no one around to listen.
The wind holds no grudges,
and that's more than I can say about most people.
I keep walking, trying not to trip up.
This town was founded by walkers,
but built by forgotten names.
The streets are serene once in a while,
no one notices though,
they're too busy trying to outrun em'.
The strangers probably take a second to snicker,
or fear, maybe even empathize.
As they whiz by, I can't help but sing louder-
these headphones are my religion.
And the spray can in my pocket-that's my cross.
The streets don't brag, not even once.
That's what I like about them.
Seven songs and twenty four fast forwards later,
and I've arrived home.
As I play guess which pocket my keys are in,
I notice that the streets followed me home.
And, my socks are still wet,
I really hate that.

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=328086



heh, it's like you made it known to the people what you hate about doing the thing you love in the beginning and end of the poem. but then, althrough the piece, you put out this deep description of the things you enjoy doing. your spray can, the headphones ..it was a nice vibe that you got from this, and I'm sure anyone with this type of fetish or value can comprehend with it, whether it be pen and paper, headphones and spray cans, weed and a television ..anybody could relate to the vibe you put out there. nice/calm piece, good read, thanks.

[Prince Escobar]

Wow, well i'm mad i missed some of your progression as a writer but i like this piece a lot man.

Your poetic voice is strong and the simpleness that you encase your strong message through works very well. It draws relation without drawing attention to itself which is something i've always admired about your more sublte pieces. Nice work man, made my night.

[KayBori]

"I enjoy shooting the breeze
with no one around to listen."
My favorite verse. ^

I thought your flow was great, I love how is transitions. I smiled when I read this which is rare on this site. I loved this it was simple and and complex at the same time.

[Masahiko.]

Wow, I really, really enjoyed this piece, it was good. I liked the way the shit just made me feel good.

"As they whiz by, I can't help but sing louder-
these headphones are my religion.
And the spray can in my pocket-that's my cross.
The streets don't brag, not even once.
That's what I like about them.
Seven songs and twenty four fast forwards later,
and I've arrived home."

That shit is dope, no joke. It screams hip hop, and thats my favorite thing about the piece, poetically hip hop.

The only negatives is It's like short as hell, sometimes good but I personally think you could have took it farther. The ending and opening lines were ok.. but it just seemed like a cliche way to end it, full circle bullshit, but it was dope none the less.

Peep Scapegoat when you get the chance.

[Maven.]

You certainly manage to get a lot of replies for the poetry forum. When I was reading in the rap discussion that you read Gibran (and a few other poets) I was curious what the reflection would be in your work.

I really liked this piece because it's reflective of a situation I think anyone who comes home late and lives in the city experiences-that feeling of tranquility in the midst of chaos. You captured it well, your writers voice is strong and you have a remarkable ability for putting the reader into the situation. I loved it.

[vocabz]

this piece was fresh from the start. very good work, man. it kinda reminds me of my life. walking down the street blaring headphones rapping over it. i see people lookin at me crazy but i never give a fuck.. only cuz thats what i like to do.. i just look back at em... noddin' my head, lol.. i sprayed cans a couple times.. not many though.. im good with drawing cartoons.. far as like taggin names.. im still getting into that at the moment..

these headphones are my religion.
And the spray can in my pocket-that's my cross.

honest, yo... this is probably one of the best pieces i scoped in Poetic Scriptures.. keep dropping em... i enjoy reading em