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Thread: I have left, but my memory remains

  1. #1
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    I have left, but my memory remains



    Whisper to me sweet nothings in my ear
    Tell me you love me, and my heart you’ll hold dear
    Hold my hand as my eyes are drawn closed
    Place on my chest a wood carved black rose
    Shut the door, and walk away with your head high
    Picture me, with my hero’s up in the sky
    Know that nothing ever means the end
    Hope and pray that my soul is god send



    I have left, but my memory remains
    Death taken me, blood not pumping through my veins
    I am sorry I have left you this way
    I’ll blow you a kiss, an angel will help if find it’s way


    I have left, but my memory remains
    Death taken me, blood not pumping through my veins
    I am sorry I have left you this way
    I’ll blow you a kiss, an angel will help if find it’s way



    Watching down, as your life flashes by
    If attached to my body, my eyes they would cry
    You beauty remains transcending through the years
    Even in heaven you joining me, relives all my fears
    I promised we’d be together for ever and always
    I died today, with you standing in the hallway
    You swore you’d see me again some time very soon
    It’s happened to fast, the world would see gloom



    I have left, but my memory remains
    Death taken me, blood not pumping through my veins
    I am sorry I have left you this way
    I’ll blow you a kiss, an angel will help if find it’s way


    I have left, but my memory remains
    Death taken me, blood not pumping through my veins
    I am sorry I have left you this way
    I’ll blow you a kiss, an angel will help if find it’s way

  2. #2
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    Re: I have left, but my memory remains

    Leave links and i'll get to them

  3. #3
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    Re: I have left, but my memory remains

    I enjoyed this piece...the emotion was clear from the beginning...I loved the suttle approach..and the vocab used...not really trying to overdue it with a lot of big words..makes it seem more realistic to the reader...overall this was a good drop...and I'd like to see more from you...maybe with a different rhyme scheme or more structured syllable count..good drop though...keep it up....and RTF...plz...


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    ___________________
    OMHOF x1
    If I voted in your battle or left feed on your OM plz RTF

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  4. #4
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    Re: I have left, but my memory remains

    bump.

  5. #5
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    Re: I have left, but my memory remains

    also I enjoyed reading this piece. you have incredible writing skills.... vocab was on point. and it was very emotional. id like to read more from you soon. i dont oftenly post any replies in poetic scriptures...... but it caught my eyes. so ill be sure to check in every couple days to see if you have any new pieces posted. RTF. please bro.

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Donald Trump's Avatar
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    Re: I have left, but my memory remains

    thanks but i would prefer if next time you posted the link to what you want me to leave feed on.

  7. #7
    greatest of gods creation urban legendz's Avatar
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    Re: I have left, but my memory remains

    Dam, this was doppe you had meta's for days in this piece, lord knows I'm thankful for you posting this in here, I dont care if you didn't write it lol it's a pleasure to read such well writt piece. The story line on this piece was rather short, but aweing. the imagery was amzaing you litterally desribed everything down to a spec of dust and you didn't over do it.

    The emotion was felt from the start to he finish of this piece, I usally don't like lovey dovey type piece's but this is a exception, the language and diction in this piece was rather apealing and I loved your rhyme scheme, it just flowed so niccely with this piece,all in all I still enjoyed reading this piece, I never haad any idea you could write like this, anywho, can you leave feed on my piece.

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=326638
    Last edited by urban legendz; February 14th, 2007 at 11:39 PM

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