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Thread: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

  1. #1
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Previous Entry…

    “Cannibalistic needs caused by sinful greed’s
    that come from demonic seeds, man heeds
    his heart bleeds, Eternal ones mistake leads
    to another King on another Throne
    the diary concludes, time stills as stone”


    New Entry…

    The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Lazarus gifted his soul to the child in the manger
    buckling against bloody torrents, spreading danger
    Tendrils slithered across, grappling gaping graves
    Folly to be wise so folly to be kneeling slaves
    Brave men fought for honor & cowards disdained
    Satan digested brave men’s blood & cowards remained
    The perilous priest entered, bible high over his head
    leaving as a recycler, a mistress under his duvet spread
    joined the devil in bed, minor adjustments were dictated
    Satan stated, aggravated pagan premonitions & gravitated
    towards ills he had cooled, deep frozen blood pooled
    Priest fooled, he became an ingredients of ritualistic food
    Illuminated night shadows; only reveal darker secrets
    Like the cannibal dining on Hannibal, see’s guts
    Secreting discreet words, he was slain in the willows
    Leaving his lover solemn, rearranging cold pillows
    Dining on heartily matter, the brain brings food for thought
    Each strand solidified, sadly he was hunted & caught
    Satan’s solo band picks the intestines & carefully strums
    So where is the former king, deep in the caved doldrums

    Flash after flash the devil relaxes on his coup
    Four women, beaten by husband’s wrongly duped
    He loved mind games, so he influenced their ways
    Plays made with subtle tributes created with mock array
    Flocked arise & locked demise, his will commands
    Demands, incinerating rebel stands, a loser’s stance
    Applied by ex-clerics, loyal priests simmer too
    Like the burning wax running out, causing subdue
    Satan has past the rejoicing stage, now strategizing
    The words, categorizing he hurled us organizing
    Us into labels, a reductionist method applied thoroughly
    Left as lab rats, running in due course against originality
    World was created by one & another concluded in totality
    So both leave us at our own device, Satan rests his case
    A place such as the human mind, always corrupts in haste
    So we were given free will and holy testaments as well
    To get the best of us, he left us to create & rule our own hell

    Malicious breeds created by demonic seeds
    formed by cannibalistic needs & sinful deeds
    Left aggrieved, we choose who we please
    Life’s a drama, the actors replaceable, the leads
    Played by 2 ethereal entities, disgusted at us
    Evils spreads too easy & good is put in distrust


    Diary entries written by Stan Amans & Sam G. Don

    | Satans Man & Gods Man


  2. #2
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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  3. #3
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Last bump for this particular day.^

  4. #4
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    this my friend was nice. you held your bargain in curiosity nah mean homie you had a nice consistant emotion and flopw of things you never really fell off and nor did you ever lose control of the verse.. your transaction from stanza to stanza was on point man and you did a good job in it man like you always do bruh.. i missed reading your shit for it was depth in emotion and the vocab you usually use with a storyline is always on point and assorted effortly nah mean homie.. i liked how you spreaded the sotry out with a chronolgy touch man and the manger idea and lazarus aswell with satan nah mean it was dope and the topic makes it original itself man nice drop bruh

    keep writing my dude and in the future we shall collab again.
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    bobericc _Lyrics's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    nice. the imagery was well developed in your explaination of the scenery.
    the emotional style was very dark and had a powerful vibe. this entry dealing of sacrifital tributes and deep seeded satanic rituals.. crazy shit man. i think you could have gotten into more biblical matters in this and twist it with a few more multis, and it left me wanting more about the backrounds which just means you did a good job gettin in my head with the storyline. the flow could have used just a bit more consistency of the rhyme skeme, no hate but some of it had a strain. nothing above average compared the exert you included from your previous entry.. that shit was fuckin dope, u should edit the link to the first one.
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  6. #6
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Thanks both...and theres three other pieces before this one so i just used a lil bit from my last one na mean.

  7. #7
    Compositional Standard Spoken's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    ARTIFICIAL | PO'ETHICS | INTELLIGENCE

  8. #8
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Yup links comments returned, up^.

  9. #9
    ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ Taz™'s Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    very descriptive , imagery wise , close to photo finnish
    worded well , .. and flow was on point most of its run
    tho i would like a more multies in it to pick up the pace
    and the rhyme scheme, wont hurt if you up too!
    this was more story telling OM w/ a slower ish for pace ,
    like u was reading it to me.....

    Topic wise, was nice, setting was in place, and it went
    w/ cutting off, and it did not feel like you were jumping from too
    as majority of long pieces.... you thought it off well ,did not rush
    and retained the flow u had to start w/ (still could be bit faster)

    overall . i like it...
    story wise, and how it was all laid down to one piece ..
    only real thing to comment on . more multies and a sicker rhyme schme!
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    ٩(●̮̮̃•̃)۶ Taz™'s Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    *Cha*....
    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
    ....*Ching*

  11. #11
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Yup returned.

  12. #12
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Last bump of the day.

  13. #13
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    not bad at all..imagery and emotion was definitely there..you started talking about deep shit from the beginning which hooked me right away.. nothing bad to say except vocab and rhyme scheme were inconsistent..sometimes it was there like crazy and sometimes it was just average or worse... 9/10

    check my political verse.

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  14. #14
    -Camera Kisses- P. Mortuus's Avatar
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    Re: The Hidden Diaries: Malicious Breeds

    Yeah i get what ya mean na mean

    Checked ya piece...^.

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