Dear Life...

[Laureate]

Dear Life,

You cheated, and left things behind.
A jumbled mess of random shit
stuck to my mind, enlarging the frame
to capacity. My disfigured torso, bent
under the weight of what could be
dismembered but isn’t for symbolic
purposes. The maggot stuck to my chest
causes my bloodshot eyes to strain as
I try to count the number of times
it wiggles trying to get free…
I think I’ll have it stuffed with
ideas, and maybe squish it into a
small picture locket. I’ll hang it from
my neck to show that I have conquered
death, or at least a small squished white
symbol of it. Show it off to my friends and
they’ll say, “Man, I think it’s leaking
creativity or puss.” Same thing really.
To me, it’s just another piece of
jewelry (or life?) that’s weighing me down.
Maybe someday, when you turn full
circle and my body lay rotting in
a pile of thoughts, trying to get free the one
they lost so long (or soon?) ago,
I will be seated in a folding chair
in a great cathedral, wondering
“Is this what I have been waiting for?”
My back would ache from the uncomfortable
slouch I have grown so accustomed to
wearing, and all I can hear are bells and
nonsense combining to make a melody that
sounds similar to the whimper of a
dying breath. This is what I have been
waiting for? Are you serious?
Where were the signs? Shit,
I should have known that the burning
smell was a burnt out light bulb as I
stumbled down that pitch black tunnel,
but hey, when I reached the end I was
just glad that the smell wasn’t hell.
But no, you have not left me yet and
for that I think I am grateful. Maybe I’ll
see you around sometime when
you’re in a better mood.

With best intentions,
-Ben

[Poeta Demonio]

I actually love this piece, the emotion in it was vivid, and the image you created of the characters... and i thought the you really made this piece unique just by personification of life... It was simple but at the same time effective. the first line grabbed ym attention automatically. The only thing i thought you could have added would have been a little more attention payed to the ending of the story, but at the same time i loved the last line probably the most in the whole piece 'see you around sometime when you're in a better mood'... great.

[TProphet]

Lyric what i love about the way you write is that,the emotion you leak through can be related to so easily because everybody has once thought in this way no matter what situation they were in. But at the same time you can see how personal this is to you.
And with the mood ive been in the past two weeks, if i could write like this it might help me.. but yeah dude another nice piece.. next time ill try n leave better feed

[Spoken]

this was a good becouase it fell in many aspects and could be nicely thought about as "hey i used to be like that or i used to feel that way"..ya know.. the vocab in this was good... nothing too powerfula dn really strong in sucha simple matter...really this got t o me from start to finish nice write and really the thought you put to this was shown with your creative metaphors and wordings and choice of words... your worded your aspects nicely. man seriously ben nice drop and keep em coming.

[T lite]

It's not really my style of poem, but I'm open to anything. I think poetry is very subjective, similar to art.

When you get past the way you formatted it and everything (lil hard to read), there's alot to take in and admire.


Keep it up!

[Laureate]

thank you

[Spoken]

this was a good becouase it fell in many aspects and could be nicely thought about as "hey i used to be like that or i used to feel that way"..ya know.. the vocab in this was good... nothing too powerfula dn really strong in sucha simple matter...really this got t o me from start to finish nice write and really the thought you put to this was shown with your creative metaphors and wordings and choice of words... your worded your aspects nicely. man seriously ben nice drop and keep em coming.

yessir if you havent hit any of the two in my links could you possibly do so now please.

[shawty"B"]

Brilliance! I love the uniqueness of this. I love the feel of a reality and a dream folded up into a letter. The one thing that I love so much about this that stood out to me so well is that you didnt have some specific structure to stick to, you just went with it.

The other part of this that really caught my attention and solidified the fact of how good a piece this was to me was

Dear Life,

and then you go on to later say

Maybe I’ll
see you around sometime when
you’re in a better mood.

With best intentions,
-Ben

That was just perfect genius to me.

Overall, as usual, your a phenomenal writer, and I thank you for the wonderful read.


~Shawty"B"aby