The Racket of Silence

[Cody Nash]

The Racket of Silence
By: Nash

A Silence I Cannot Describe

the crickets become annoying
a chirping sound so violent
the wind skips a beat ..
while the peace escapes its quiet
my facial expression ..
contains no ounce of progression
and the world knows ..
the agression behind my sarrow
but no body sees that my mind flees
the evil that arises come tomorrow

An Evening Comes

under my bed, screams a villan
he's quiet ..but he screams!
and yet does he have his filling
which is the reason for his being
he's mean, he's rampid ..
this intruder's violent and rancid!
i cannot see nor hear him ..
but still he produces a racket
my eyes water, and i hear laughter
how dark and evil it does sound
no large or small word could describe
he that is so obnoxiously profound

A Moon Floats Dead Center

he's an artist in a body bag
this monsters dead with a legacy
i can hear him whilst i sleep!
oh such a racket he yet ceasts
to give a wretched sinner like me
who's in the middle of his dreams
i awake in such a startle ..
so alert my sockets search my box
a cage in which i sleep
upon a matress filled with rocks
i try desprately to see this creep
but it's inside my head he knocks

The Crecent Lowers It's Flag

as a sliver of a moon lowers
i've yet to sleep as a man should
people peer into my boxes window
as if i actually look good ..
i do not know where i stay
nor what they're doing with me
but now here comes the day
and it's me they wont be forgetting
with a flash of life, his eyes stare in
the evil man ..of rancid and sin
it's so quiet, but such racket in my brain
is the thing simply binding me
as he courses through my veins
i start to scream, they bring restraints
and he just laughs in my face ..
as they bring me to the bad place
binding me now not only in my mind
but in a jacket ..and it hurts
a room of white, padded with a window
shows my life cannot be worse

[El Deciple]

alright this was interesting I'll admit the figurative language was good it could be better. what i didn't like was the vocab if you were to use better imagry but never the less i like it


http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=305027 R.T.F

[Heaven's Lyrics]

A Silence I Cannot Describe
-- Nice, liked da flow, imagery is decent in this part, vocab is nce, well put together

An Evening Comes
-- meh this part wuz ok, vocab and flow wuz good, but imagery wuz not there for as much as you talked about the villian - i could not picture it because the wordin wuz not right -- but still enjoyable to read --

A Moon Floats Dead Center
-- not feeling this, shoulda put more imagery and emotion into this part - it seems as u did this part quickly and tried to rush it... no hate though --

The Crecent Lowers It's Flag
-- Very nce ending - this part put together well -- metaphor and message in this wuz strong which brought out the rest of the piece -- vocab and imagery nice -- could feel the endin on this -- great connection with the piece


OVERALL -- Nicely done -- like El Deciple said - a lil more imagery could have been used but the piece wuz nice - keep doin wut ya do -- and Return the favor and hit up link in sig

[.ink.]

this was good man i liked the image and the approach and everything in it aswell.....the topic was unqiue there for but the fact that the style was finnessed and the image was drawn WEEl and the fact that you threw nice multies and nice stroylines man drove it well....nice read my dude!

[Lateralus]

Nice read here....you did many things I liked and very few I didn't. the topic was nice and very well thought out. You have a unique writing style and I commend that....keep it up and I hope maybe we could collab or something.

[Cody Nash]

thanks all ..will return feed later.

[Cody Nash]

can i get some higher opinions?

[Cody Nash]

please?

[Future]

Favorite Lines:

as a sliver of a moon lowers
i've yet to sleep as a man should
people peer into my boxes window
as if i actually look good ..
i do not know where i stay
nor what they're doing with me
but now here comes the day
and it's me they wont be forgetting
with a flash of life, his eyes stare in
the evil man ..of rancid and sin
it's so quiet, but such racket in my brain
is the thing simply binding me
as he courses through my veins
i start to scream, they bring restraints
and he just laughs in my face ..
as they bring me to the bad place
binding me now not only in my mind
but in a jacket ..and it hurts
a room of white, padded with a window
shows my life cannot be worse

Feed:

I like the lines above, those were dope, i love the imagry and the flow type, good job, and the touch of the sttucture was dope..great read, i liked the different paragraphs, dope homie, i like it.

RTF:

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...00#post4859600
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show....php?p=4856692