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Thread: I Know A Man

  1. #1
    but they call me sincere
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fort Wayne, Indiana
    Age
    40
    Posts
    159
    Battle Record
    0-2

    I Know A Man

    I know a man, a man I did not know
    a man that I know more of, before his face would even show
    What I didn’t know was his eyes; his eyes were yet to be seen
    When I saw his eyes, his eyes were not the ones I saw in my dreams
    To my surprise, these eyes took me to a different scene
    A scene where I thought I was going to do some terrible things
    Things not necessary but a part of being human being
    There stood before me a demon if anything
    I did not know hate could displace in such a situation
    Inside I’m pacen, my mind is racen, and during my whole life I hated him
    Cause he hated me, that is what I was taught to believe,
    A man with many tricks up his sleeve,
    A man who’s absence ruins every happy occasion by giving me the blues when your name was said
    Even when your name was not said I got the blues to, I didn’t choose to
    Constantly running into family I never met not knowing who’s who.
    DO YOU HATE ME!? Or is it that you were not ready for a baby, a child, a kid.
    Or was it momma, she hurt you, did worst things that u did
    Not sure I’m your kid, didn’t want to be stupid so u split,
    Some where without a care, until that scratch turned into a tare
    it was easy for you not to call, because the life you lead now I'm not involved think I will hate you or just wipe you off,
    With uh brush of my hand; we never would have known without u truly handling your business like a man.
    A man that puts his life for me on display, so I no longer dream or believe fables, long sit downs at the table
    Coached on what I should say. WHERE YOU BEEN!? WHERES MY MONEY!? HE AINT CHANGED!
    Despite all that my mind went blank when I met him. I already respected him.
    I knew it was him because he looked like me, no mirror, no reflection, 3D.
    I met my father I hate him, I love him, his eyes, my eyes in which I thought was a one of a kind, but his was just like mine.
    Big ears big lips by the end of the day my life now makes since, my fathers no longer a imaginational figment
    He’s not even a bad guy; inside he really seems like a sad guy.
    He doesn’t show it, but I know it, he looks at me and he is imploding
    He is sorry he can not make up for the years he didn’t know me
    Now I can grow normally my happy feelings are no longer potentially potent.
    I Know a Man


    p.s my bad about the presentaion of it i had it all formated then it got screwd up
    I Stand Alone But Strong, For My Fans Are My Legs

  2. #2
    Im Crazy Lo0se CaNNoN's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    HalfWay House,New York
    Age
    33
    Posts
    4,876
    Battle Record
    18-10
    ok, im not that good on judgin' O.M's and shit, im jus gon' say this was a nice peice, could've been better, rhyme scheme was ok, needed to be alot better, the structure was meh, that really needs to be fix'd, and the flow was iffy', some points u were on point and then others was like no, the story line of it and everything was str8, not too much of an interesting topic imo, could've been better, but hey, u did a pretty good job of makin' it sub par interestin', no hate but over 7/10........keep elevatin'

    P.S- i got an O.M. comin out in like 30min-1hour so look out for and return the feed, thnx

  3. #3
    You've Earned a Custom Title! EvilJester's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Posts
    180
    Battle Record
    0-5
    I liked this, loved the idea portrayed behind this
    the rhyme scheme i think was the best right at the beginning like this

    know a man, a man I did not know
    a man that I know more of, before his face would even show
    What I didn’t know was his eyes; his eyes were yet to be seen
    When I saw his eyes, his eyes were not the ones I saw in my dreams
    To my surprise, these eyes took me to a different scene
    A scene where I thought I was going to do some terrible things
    Things not necessary but a part of being human being
    There stood before me a demon if anything

    loved that bit, although the rest was good, that was def. my favorite, keep it up
    Back. Again.

  4. #4
    but they call me sincere
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Fort Wayne, Indiana
    Age
    40
    Posts
    159
    Battle Record
    0-2
    thanks for the comments i havent posted anything lately but i will pretty soon
    I Stand Alone But Strong, For My Fans Are My Legs

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