Tim (TNL) Vs. Meters (CF) Topical

[Tim]

Tim (TNL) Vs. Meters (CF) Topical
verses due sunday
500 posts to vote

topics

assignations in a dim-lit alley
truth
letter to my unborn
surviving armaggedon
the three stages
elephant song
the tangle box
the light bearer
lord of the rings.

[Tim]

check

[Meters]

check

[Tim]

ill need an extanision until tuesday night

thanks

[Tim]

The Truth
Reflection of Questions


The setting's in glass, broken, heart shattered in pain
Scattered and slain, While I listen to pit-patters of rain
Lips, Laughter, and tears, Remembrance of a time ago
Never mind the flow, Never mind…Its my time to go
Lines are broke, My mirror and my thoughts divide
If thoughts could fly, I'd hold them, and walk them by
Lost in skye's, This reflection, Me? Or just deception
Resurrection of affection, somehow I just couldn't let it
Slip away from my grasp, The task of finding my gasp
Cast in the breath of a million letters, Holding me back
Ultimately last, First, I gotta finish this life, though it hurts
Some things I look four words, to work, expecting the worst
I thirst, I drink from waterfalls, cause when water falls
The Black water called, Ink, is written heartfelt or not at all
Distraught I bawl, Tears drip on paper, to savor a flavor
Of a taste of love, For later, My Poetic letters are saviors
Greater than present or past tense, Present in the form of past tense
The essence of lasting passions, Left in the misted askance
In a forest I pass tents, Of poets who have since left here
Though, now I can cry less tears, and try to suppress fears
This game of chess jeers, Check, Make a move…Check…Mate
My nature is sedate, at this rate, I'm headed to death…state
Judgmental arrest case, My mirror still showing deeper views
Faced with two doors to choose, Contrast in different hues
Faded to gray, Black and white, Hiding the dark of the light
A spark that ignites, The mind, To the hearts own delight
To fight away masks, escape the paths, The last to laugh
On The ink’s behalf, I’ll watch the mirror and see what I have
A metaphorical trap, Well, that’s metaphorically speaking
Diabolically thinking, I’m know to metaphorically be ink
Or The Blood of a human being, Being the target of Artists
I don’t Cry When I’m broken hearted, People say I’m heartless
My art is indefinite, through separate meanings with death in it
Clinging to a deficit, Where forever minutes of death is spent
Breath is infinite, Realize, Real-eyes, Understand the Real lies
But If real-eyes, Realize lies, Whose to say whats wrong and right
Along the night skye I walk, The docks of Locked treasures and blocks
Knocks upon the river rocks, Tick, Tock the clock stops
With a second left to spare, Dreams Left to Spend…Never there
But Truth is....
....... if I ever care, My mirror will let me know…A forever stare

[Meters]

I need a one day extension.

Happy holidays.

[Meters]

The Light Bringer

Me and mine are bent in metals of stark hardness
forged from shocks absorbed in the minds dark asylums
Connivers striking deals we consort with unorder
Bolster forces to hold the doors..and then we storming quarters
the light bringers arriving eqiupped with pistols and torpedoes
morsals of food drop to fatten up the natives for the seagulls
save their culture to drop to the vultures while muttering sighs
until a new flag catches a faint breeze when all enemies pulverized
I've committed multiple crimes, committed assault with multiple nines
money hungry in the name of my country I soiled the holiest shrines
not quite subtle I spit bubblegum on the rubble of the toilesome
humming american tunes that made the A-Rab goons recoil some
Blood boiling to spoil the fun, plunder with guns when slumber is done
getting a college scholarship and ain't it wonderful to be young
The gun spray paints a summerday in the blood red humming son
Unlace my boots, kick out a pebble, light up a dust caked blunt
dream back vivid like cd-rom, a company of cadets seated in song
Puffing lah around a fire banging out to that hendrix in vietnam
Shooting gooks and talking tough until the heart pumps callused
Listening to the lapping of the sea then jumping out of battleships
And cabins get locked in time shrink in size then crysttalized
cogs keep history circulating and plus the pistons never fried
It's like a wind up toy, times bound to repeat without end
If our nation can gain we're trained to make the same mistake again
Barely passed my GED and now i'm strapped, armed to the teeth
Exploding through dunes with crude platoons, and i'm just nineteen
See, if life is like a movie..mine was a kamikaze pilot
girlfriend pregnant, pops is sentenced and mom is never quiet
Wanted to rise above, sized up my slum and my defiance
Was joining to be all I could be amidst scenes of ultra violence
Physically fit and mentally sound, without much attention span
doomed to eventually be found in a rut because my weapon jammed
and I was confronted face to face with a cut-up others distaste
browner than me and mustached reaching for something at his waist
pulled out a black utensil and I could almost read the inscription
it said "made for snuffing the light of our reciever and his henchman"
To be striked down is righteous by the vermin cuz they christless
Looked into the villains eye and staring back a chromatic vibrance
Wreathed in my safety net of good inntent, magnetic halo
An incarnate of evil doing this for his people and for payroll
Put three deep in the true roots of my brain, I strain a slight quiver
Draining rivers of blood at the boots of a neighboring light bringer

[Tim]

good drop

uppin 1

[Cody Nash]

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=297768
^first ..this isn't my battle. but i know how topical voting is, and these dudes'd appreciate fair votes from the both of you as well. good looks ..now for the vote.

Tim - shit was hot. i'll point out your flaws here first, cuz i really liked the piece but to me it wasn't perfect. "My nature is sedate -" <There were a lot of lines like this, and the words you used for them, just DID NOT fit right with me. your flow was beautiful, you had some multies, you had massive amounts of internals, it was just an all around dope piece. the storyline seemed to drag on, but you used a lot of similies and metaphorical terms. and you brought the readers through different places, like the clock lines, the camp lines, the poets, it was all very intreiguing but dragging on at the same time. the thing that deffinatly grasped me was the internals though, every word (even if it didn't fit well) covered the depth of the next. it was good. great read, thank you. very emotional.

vs.

Meters - yours was also packed with much emotion as well. i felt it to be really choppy in the beginning and it bored me honestly. on the 11th line is when i started getting caught into it. i really think that the beginning of a piece is where we should be brought in ..you failed to do that for me. BUT, nontheless, you made an amazing recovery. you started throwing out this enlightenment of internals everywhere, you wording was never off, and the storyline was ok. it's not something i enjoy reading, but it contained a lot of action. the end was kind've expected more then anything, and i don't like that about it. so it was kind of a bland piece for me...

both of you were great in the end. but it's also hard to judge simply because it's emotion vs. action, so i guess it's all judged on my favour here. i really like emotional pieces more than action pieces. the action was nice, but it just dragged on and on for me, the emotional bit of tims was nice, it flowed with spectacuar consistancy and overall was nice for me. good reads. but imo, winner is ..

v. Tim

[Brandon]

Tim-You really are in a different league than most of the topical heads on this site....you have a certain way of wording that really makes me interested in your verses. I think you have a lot of emotion which is great and I always can follow your storylines and this was no different I really enjoyed reading this. It had a different approach than I thought you would have taken and it worked for you quite well. It was an excellent read from you Tim!

Meters-Your vocab and emotion is very ill my friend. Like cry said...I like being brought into the verse as soon as it starts, but yours didn't do that. It was fuckin ill from "Blood boiling..." on....it was a dope verse overall, but the beginning was not really in sync with the rest of your drop. It was not something that had the greatest storyline, but I saw that there was a storyline at least...it just wasn't a very good one. Great read nonetheless!

Both of you had amazing drops, but Tim's verse was more interesting in my opinion. Meters you did fuckin' amazing...and if you dropped as good as you did after the first 12 lines or so...I think you may have beaten Tim, but he was more consistent and that's why he wins. Great job to both of you!

v/Tim...if both of you could hit up my battle with NapStar I would appreciate it...thanks!

[Tim]

uppin 2

cry im in elpoetas crew and brandon i cant find the link

[Tim]

uppin 3 can we get some votes

[Agony.]

Tim- wow nice imagery in your piece. i felt you came real deep with emotion in this piece. you had a strong use of sensational words which lead this piece throughout. nice vocab you had here which really stood out. good use of metaphors also. you had a very different & distinctive piece. it made it alot more creative in a way which drifted you towards were it wanted you to. you lead the reader to keep on reading this piece since it was so interesting. very original piece & emotional concepts. i have to say very nice piece.

Meters- Well your piece was also more of an emotional piece also. i have to consider that you didnt have a really good flow when you began this piece here. seemed very off in my perspective. it was leading no where in the begging. then it kind of got on course through the rest of the read with some nice metaphors. but i have to say you could have had a intreging piece here if you didnt mess up your flow in the beggining of this piece.

So both of you had a very nice original pieces here which were very interesting but i have to say Tim who really focused on the beggining & the end has came out with my vote.

v/Tim.

[Agony.]

Can you also drop an honest vote on this:
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthr...443#post4694443

[chuck taylor.]

upping for these mofos.