Life in Hollywood aka what Hell sent

[Optical.Illusion]

For people who like OM's to be fast


I walk away
'n beg
for the day to stop
'n rewind a picture
of perfet clots
carrying joy
to the world
curling back with a curse
braceing for the impact of a hearse
in your life
with the knife
you relie on
to talk to your soul
that youd rather die on
cuz youd give up every contract
you signed 'n get back
on the track
that youve been running
to save your back
from the mags,that are glad
that hatred spreads over
the rumors of mad
stars that get rid of it
by getting behind bars
it never ends
paparazzi is just somethin
that life needs to feed on
to get a message that Hell sent......

[Optical.Illusion]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4610033
http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?p=4610074

[Witty]

this peice was both good and not so good. I liked the imagery and the way you described everything very well, you had great detail in this peice which made it very interesting and made me want to read on. Your stroyline was fine,I think you did quite well in that aspect...but I do think that you should have ade your lines that bit longer in some places because sometimes they were so short they threw off the flow of your peice. Imagery was quite good and I had a picture in my head of what you were writing about which is very important in an OM. I think you tried too hard on the rhyming aspect...a peice does not always have to rhyme to make it a good peice...if you look in HOF you will see a lot of peices that don't always rhyme but are still very good. but yea this was quite a good peice. Keep writing dude. Peace

[Optical.Illusion]

thnx this was basicly just a quick freestyle i did cuz i was board. But thnx for the feed anyways upp