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Thread: tsunami

  1. June 9th, 2006, 01:30 PM #1
    ~mcbigll~
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    tsunami


    rumble rumble rumble the earth starts to shake
    nobody really expected such a horrible quake
    people wondering how many lives would it take
    people see that the ocean is running away
    but nobody says to anyone if they should go or stay
    because they followed that tide there lives were to pay...

    the tide returned with devastating effects
    washed away everything from all angles all aspects
    homes in ruin, relationships in tatters
    nobody cares how big or small everything matters
    we live in a world that is now ruled by nature
    people worry no matter what religion or culture...

    those people all went to an early grave
    we were unable to do anything not one person we could save
    they live in a watery grave and onli bones remain it would seem
    the survivors remember that fatal day it lives in their dreams
    they say the worlds axis moved 3mm during that time
    slowly they piece their lives back together building - come rain or shine...

    you cannot describe those scenes i mean what is there to say?
    200,000+ thats to many lives to lose in one single day
    we still remember those people who were lost we sit silent and pray

    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=296597
    http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=285358
    ..
    Last edited by ~mcbigll~; June 10th, 2006 at 08:53 AM

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  2. June 9th, 2006, 01:44 PM #2
    ~mcbigll~
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    uppin......

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  3. June 9th, 2006, 01:50 PM #3
    Kidanimus
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    Peep Mine, Its Directly Below This One, Than I'll Return The Favour. Jus Its The Only Way Guy's Leave Feed Nah Mean, EveryOne Sleeps On Om's
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  4. June 9th, 2006, 01:55 PM #4
    Kidanimus
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    fuck it
    this shouldn't be slept on this.It was a very good peice but these bastards round here tend to sleep on anything lol. this was tight. i loved it..it was nice to follow due to the excellent flow continusely throughout this peice....good rhymes and multies throughout......nice strucutre..emotion was dope for real...nice vocab and complexity...and overall this was a very good peice..keep it up...
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  5. June 9th, 2006, 02:02 PM #5
    ~mcbigll~
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    thanx for the feed homie 13mins it took me to right it i appriciate the feedback!!!

    uppin........

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  6. June 9th, 2006, 02:05 PM #6
    Kidanimus
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    13 min's, damn mine took me 2 days, and yours is the same length..lol..
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  7. June 9th, 2006, 02:06 PM #7
    ~mcbigll~
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    lol well i got experiance homie but trust me i see real potential in you!!!

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  8. June 9th, 2006, 02:09 PM #8
    Kidanimus
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    yea thx for the props bruv..wanna go a lil one on one in the punch cypher, thas where my real skill lies..im off there n e way, feel free to join me
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  9. June 9th, 2006, 02:09 PM #9
    ReggieChang
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    waddup mc. i aint seen u in a minute. but i think this was a very good piece. it had sum nice imagery in it and the lines that u used werent wasted. every line had a meanin behind and u also u sed sum very good vocab in this piece. u could have had sum more complexity behind ur rhymes but all and all this was a very good piece keep it up
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  10. June 9th, 2006, 02:12 PM #10
    ~mcbigll~
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    thanx reggie appriciate the feedback!!!.......uppin........

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  11. June 9th, 2006, 02:36 PM #11
    ~mcbigll~
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    uppin........again please leave feed
    Last edited by ~mcbigll~; June 9th, 2006 at 03:19 PM

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  12. June 9th, 2006, 03:20 PM #12
    ~mcbigll~
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    uppin......

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  13. June 9th, 2006, 03:23 PM #13
    chitown_mex11
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    it had good flow throughout and good structure also good imagery but it lacked multies and they're important for a great piece homie
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  14. June 9th, 2006, 03:31 PM #14
    ~mcbigll~
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    ok thanx........uppin more feed please........

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  15. June 9th, 2006, 04:13 PM #15
    Big C.
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    topic was interesting to me. i liked it.
    i felt this peice. it had nice consistant flow.
    rhymes were good all the way through.
    and overall i liked it..

    my fav. lines were

    rumble rumble rumble the earth starts to shake
    nobody really expected such a horrible quake
    people wondering how many lives would it take
    people see that the ocean is running away
    but nobody says to anyone if they should go or stay
    because they followed that tide there lives were to pay...

    ^that was dope fa sho..good job

    keep it up.
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