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Last edited by D. Josey; August 8th, 2006 at 10:27 AM
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well this was a decent drop nice emotion.deep imagery nice red mayne....real good mayne nice vocab and nice multies used for more depth..........
RTF on the links in my SIG and EX come to E-Style man trey methodz hewre on the site now!..
<<The real Renegade
hmm I would hae to agree it was decent you need a bit more imagery but you didn't lack creativity it was a nice drop prettey decent structure also so keep that up also and you were pretty excellent with your vocab and mlties which increased the overall rating of this piece so it was a good drop by you keep up the good work.
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Well, no... You do not need more imagery, or emotion, or anything along those lines. The piece was flawless in every sense except its structure. I could easily see what structuring you were shooting for, very remincent of a poem, much like the way I write aswell... But to be able to stablize a consistant flow with that type of a scheme and still be able to hold the pieces validity as an Om rather than just a poem, the lines have to be cut down much shorter to keep everything constantly rolling right off the readers tongue. But that was the only falt. The content in the piece was simply beautiful, and I loved every line. The piece just gave off such a unique vibe as I was reading. Liked it alot, stay up and keep writing man.
po'ethics /
abstanticollective.
this was a good peice man... i liked it...topic was cool
it flowed very well...i very nice smooth read...
good imagery overall...vocab and complexity was alright
rhymes were really good and overall this was very good
keep it up~
Thank you much for the feed.
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