Racial Anatomy

[Bloom.Quist]

Luke Bloomquist
Racial Anatomy

Flowers bloom like masterpieces,
while humanity is dehydrated of colors.
Insipid and insecure…
Intangible ignorance builds walls
between our innocence and belligerence.
Abhorrent minds thrive.
Spawned from fear and debauched upbringing.
They misconceive my culture…
compose an image to provoke a counterfeit me.
View my ipseity with a barren prospective…
adamant and ignorant to reality.
Humanity is deaf, stolen and reaped
of the water-colored beauty we yearn for.




Author's Note: I'm still working on this poem. Just been typing it up slowly line by line for a few days. It's still a rough draft, but any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks.

[Bloom.Quist]

Uppity Up Up.

[Poeta Demonio]

Okay, the interlect in this piece i have to say is almost genius!... You managed to use complexity through-out with out ruining the piece by making it look as though your trying to write smarter than you actually are... That to me was excellent, i very rarely see someone pull that off these days... Your word choice was beautiful, you made it so eligant yet so sending a hard message through the poem... I think the fact it was short worked to your advantage, as you got the message across so precise... It would have only dragged the point on thus making it a boring read, but wow, one of the first pieces i've read from you, and i must say i'm impressed, well done man, we should colab at some point.

[XM]

............wants to write just like him...

*envy's him*

this piece was damn good shit it was complex'd the vocab was beatiful and it all made sense in the end so much emotion

[Atti]

This is a strong little start you've got here. Your vocabulary was very sophisticated, you had quite a few words that I've never even heard before, let alone knew the meanings of. Alot of your metaphors weren't all that creative, but for some reason they seemed to have a really big impact. Maybe it was just a combination of your wording and vocabulary. The flow of the content was beautiful, everything was very fluent and even the words seemed to rhyme perfectly between the pieces internal schemes and assonance. I love the end line were you used "water-colors" as a description after discussing the earth's enhabitants earlier as being "Dehydrated" and such, is was a clever little play and a vivid image aswell. Overall this is nice, I just have a hang up about short pieces, but once this is finished it'll be brilliant. I'm glad to see you back and writing man... Really havent seen anything since "Soft focus: 9/11 ft SpL!T"

[Bloom.Quist]

Thanks for the replies guys. Glad to have you both in my crew.

up.

[Atti]

Be dope if you could feed my poem, "Hears to the Mute"

[Poeta Demonio]

Yup, and it'd be even doper if you could find time to feed on this 'dear grandma'...

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=290451... .

[Bloom.Quist]

Up. I never really got replies on this, and I'm thinking about editing it this weekend.

[Spoken]

this was heavy with deep vocabulary and strong emotion. i liked how you started it from start to finish you came with great control over your piece. nice written right here and as you say you are slowly writing this well i guess i cant wait til you finish it cus this little teaser that has been dawned upon us readers is already a nice piece. the sophistication of this piece has a nice drive...a nice deep motivation man and i like how you detailed the emotion with such big words yet it meant something you would think of as simple. really bloom you should ge tmore active and get with us here in PS again man but ey who am i to say shit you have a life so.... but nice drop here bloom and cant wait til you drop new ones or finish this.

would appreciate feed on samantha C. hensley. link in the sig

[Bloom.Quist]

I'll try to hit your link as soon as possible. Thanks for the reply man.

[Daverick]

This whole verse is something i'd picture a great spokesperson to say. Very powerful piece with not too complex vocab. This is something that is ment to me shouted out. Amazing.

"Humanity is deaf, stolen and reaped
of the water-colored beauty we yearn for."

Great closure.

[Bloom.Quist]

Thank you. Much respect for the reply. I appreciate.