Hey there!

It looks like you're enjoying Rap Battles Forum but haven't created an account yet. Why not take a minute to register for your own free account now? As a member you get free access to all of our forums and posts plus the ability to post your own messages, communicate directly with other members and much more. Register now!

Already a member? Login at the top of this page to stop seeing this message.

User Tag List

Showing results 1 to 9 of 9

Thread: Mission Complete

  1. #1
    Banned Chozn1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,358
    Battle Record
    6-3

    Mission Complete

    There are 2 gunman surounded, in the building on East. Pass.
    Watching the frontend, a fiend in a ski-mask.
    He grasps his9 tight, hoping...praying that he lasts.
    Bows his head to repent, sees something, and he gasps
    ...a red dot sitting spot-on his knee cap...
    Looks up, draws, and squeezes... *click* "shit!", forgot to cock it
    The bullet leaves him cripple quick...there was no way to stop it.

    S.W.A.T moves upstairs slow, using shadows for cover...
    One suspect down, they're looking for the other...


    Suspect #2 isn't alone, he's got a prisoner.
    The first ladys' tied up, and he's contemplating killing her.
    The phone rings, it's the chief pleading no blood is spilled.
    #2 barks demands on the phone for 5 mil in unmarked bills.
    He hangs up the phone. *quiet* then footsteps outside the door.
    The hostage screams "Your dead!!" ,he says "shutup you fucking hoar!"

    He hits herwith his gun and knocks her onto the floor.
    A sniper watches from a tower across the street.
    A second later the suspects brains are across his feet.
    Good always prevails. Mission Complete.


    Ill leave my links in a sec.
    Last edited by Chozn1; April 15th, 2006 at 12:19 AM

  2. #2

  3. #3
    Bringin Sek-c back! .Vamp's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2005
    Location
    H-town
    Age
    39
    Posts
    2,290
    Battle Record
    10-2
    Ok first thing i'm tryin to figure out if someone is surrounding the gunmen or they are surrounded where they are goin to attack...Takes me into the presence of the gunmen with grab words

    Swat takes out Gunmen #1 without showin me much interest..but story goes on...

    Prisoner escapes without much conflict...

    Feed:...Peice is basic...simplistic but informative...shows insite..but doesnt exactly grab the readers attention with eye catcher....drama was at a minimal and was taken care of without much effort...

    Make this peice longer and it will increase dopeness...

    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

    Heavyweight Penis Crew

  4. #4
    Banned Chozn1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,358
    Battle Record
    6-3
    thnx dvs. cmon need some feed

  5. #5
    Banned Chozn1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,358
    Battle Record
    6-3
    uppity up

  6. #6
    You've Earned a Custom Title! Technique's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    UK London
    Age
    34
    Posts
    149
    Battle Record
    2-2
    this piece was quite good it had an Ok story to it and the structure was really good flowed well. It was still a lil basic but showed some insight nut wasnt informative enough overall quite good keep em commin

    peace
    RIP BIG L

  7. #7
    Banned Chozn1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,358
    Battle Record
    6-3
    uppin 4 feed

  8. #8
    Banned Chozn1's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Age
    34
    Posts
    1,358
    Battle Record
    6-3
    cmon now, 42 ppl read this and 2 leave feed? help me get better

  9. #9
    Still in the grave Johnny 6-feet's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2002
    Location
    England, Liverpool
    Posts
    5,123
    Battle Record
    8-1
    Closed. Next time put in links which weren't from 6 months ago.

    SS League Record 31-8
    SS HW Champ
    14 x OM HoF



    To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 50 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

Similar Threads

  1. On A Mission
    By Trigga__Frenzy in forum Open Mic
    Replies: 1
    Last Post: July 10th, 2010, 04:04 PM
  2. My Mission
    By Sandy in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 47
    Last Post: April 23rd, 2006, 07:15 PM
  3. A mission for you all tonight......
    By Aines in forum The Lounge
    Replies: 18
    Last Post: January 1st, 2005, 02:07 PM

Posting Rules

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •