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Thread: Drift.

  1. #1
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,369
    Battle Record
    9-10

    Drift.

    ive created something to live for...

    i have created something to breath for

    im fucked up....

    i lost consouiscness or what i thought was bliss
    every remedy taken fom merories each kiss
    the lich rose fromt he dead to hiss away the glory
    each story walked into the wrong territory
    a stich on my arm where i fell on rocks
    or was i just falling knocking the learning blocks



    wont deny that
    seen too many blood tears drop
    a remedy turned to slop
    tendincies turn to hate
    a simple fate for all humanity
    vanity of our backyards grows
    as the new snow fall descends
    i rend er each boardwalk alone
    as i roam a barren landscape
    litterd by metals of old
    i was told...
    if you dont know who to thank
    youd wish it was blank
    a fishtank world
    glass surroounds us ready to break
    so we take another breath and wait
    the debate to settles
    i cant seem to mettle again
    frame the same thing each day has been
    i would pay omish but gods asking for souls
    the death tole another sheep faughter for the slaughter

    I remedy in theses tendincies to love
    each rhytmic bending see, realeses a grey dove
    READ MORE

  2. #2
    ...nxiwT Twixn...'s Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Yukon
    Age
    38
    Posts
    11,369
    Battle Record
    9-10
    links on the way.
    READ MORE

  3. #3
    Banned
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    The Most Complex Soul.....
    Age
    36
    Posts
    1,729
    Battle Record
    22-7
    Awards 25+ Wins
    Not a good representation of your true talent...
    ...however i see it as a attempt towards showing ur capable of new styles

    The piece was short to the point, nothiing was like WOW!, it had a nice flow to it with an odd rhymescheme, which made it much more poetic 2 me. It was basic in some sense, yet showd some sign of thought with some of the content, definetly not a piece that was ment to be sought out 4 HOF.. it was just a piece that was ment to be takin as a point, and i thought you did a pretty good job of venting out a piece..that u seemd necessary to drop! also as though it was short, you put in some nice wordplay,internals that spiced it up throughout the piece...regardless it was pretty good..not amazing..but ok


    keep ups man....

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