Tim vs Glory

[Glory]

TNL vs PB

Rules:
Shouldn't Have to say the Other Ground Rules
1,000+ posts to vote
Check In by Tuesday April 11
Deadline: The End of Friday April 14

Topic: Sibling Rivalry

Good luck, may the Best Man Win

[Tim]

check

lets make this the best topical battle in FL ever

[Glory]

Brotherly Love

As I reflect upon my past my mind dwells amidst our memories
An over-looked relation beheld by enforced parental remedies
A narrative that began since birth to end in the hands of time
Enhanced between the pages to exist without a chance in line

Subsequent to my birth, a child was conceived amongst a family
Both parents eroding their own lives and on the verge of insanity
Uncannily channeled through ones mind, he grew up in isolation
Only to be changed in a couple of years through God’s admiration
So it was expected he’d be rejected among the peers of his generation
Able to hold his own but still felt an absence of actual innate elation
Then penetration was re-enacted between the mother and father of this
The result was the image of my own reflection and just a brother of his

Born two years before my own time, in a way he was my mentor
So I pursued the direction he led, it’s what most parents intend for
But there was a glitch in the system, my brother refused to let live
Disagreed to my desires and blatantly disapproved each incentive
Hence the paths became split; no further bond was being withheld
I embraced the wrath of a loved one who didn’t care about how I felt
Emotionally and physically incarcerated, I knew nothing but pain
Wondering whatever happened to the laughter we both once obtained

Nothings been corrected, we’ve yet to head back to where we started
A change of heart hasn’t be made, we’re left where our paths departed
A foundation of hatred, cemented by unfermented broken emotions
Reparation seems impossible; there’re no more words to be spoken
What was once a relationship held by our parents no longer exist
Left as a memory is the few good moments of when we were kids
A lifetime of regrets and thoughts about what should matter most
On top of that is family even though it sometimes seems that it don’t

They say sometimes people are too young to love when in actuality
Children are the only ones who hold a true sense of love’s fallacy

[Tim]

........Forever Together.......
"What Ever We Do"

Older Brother
Younger Brother

We've been Stuck behind bricks and Sentenced to serve times
For being an artist with words block letters and curved lines
For expressions of ourselfs, Are tags aren’t formulated to harm
But are crime is punishable, On the same level as carrying arms
Imagination is all it is, Criminal? Lets be realistic
But Its Your vandalism I see, what you think is artistic
From the scribbles in my notebooks, to this language on the wall
Famous in my neighborhood, tagged, with love for it all
On Miles of boxcars, in train yards and subways…My name rests
With the names of many others who blessed them and their text
Crowns, stars, and Bubble style…Paint rollers and spray cans
Sharpie markers on my ear…Coloring urban waste lands
Different shapes and size…A signature, graphically stylized
The L.A. Tag kings, With bombs I idolized
They grew on me, Shading, Quote marks, and Red paint
I look at graffiti today, people use the art to define hate
Gang wars, Started by a tag on the wrong turf
Why care, we have the same love for this artwork
White supremacists, Nazi’s, expressing their hate with my art form
The krylon leaves a piece of me, a piece of my heart for
The next artist to take, inspired by the designs that I made
The lines that I’ve shaped, Tell what kind of mind that it takes
To Say I vandalize when I draw, our creations a social outrage
Creating social outbreaks, Take me away, My artistry will still stay
Days I carried stencils with me, Test styles with a pencil, mindless
And a paper in class, Thinking of names to sign with
To where we are now, at the wrong place the wrong day
Someone called the cops, they came and took us away
Only charged once, with vandalism, destruction of property
I took a marker in the cell, properly tagged on prison property
To express my love for my krylon, My writing will lie on
I too, am in a jail cell, with nothing else to write on



Dont get it dont vote

[(dictionary)]

Good, Drop.... Both were good.... Tim i have to say th.... if i could vote it would go to you....///////but good job...///

[BozKurt]

Brotherly Love

As I reflect upon my past my mind dwells amidst our memories
An over-looked relation beheld by enforced parental remedies
A narrative that began since birth to end in the hands of time
Enhanced between the pages to exist without a chance in line

Subsequent to my birth, a child was conceived amongst a family
Both parents eroding their own lives and on the verge of insanity
Uncannily channeled through ones mind, he grew up in isolation
Only to be changed in a couple of years through God’s admiration
So it was expected he’d be rejected among the peers of his generation
Able to hold his own but still felt an absence of actual innate elation
Then penetration was re-enacted between the mother and father of this
The result was the image of my own reflection and just a brother of his

Born two years before my own time, in a way he was my mentor
So I pursued the direction he led, it’s what most parents intend for
But there was a glitch in the system, my brother refused to let live
Disagreed to my desires and blatantly disapproved each incentive
Hence the paths became split; no further bond was being withheld
I embraced the wrath of a loved one who didn’t care about how I felt
Emotionally and physically incarcerated, I knew nothing but pain
Wondering whatever happened to the laughter we both once obtained

Nothings been corrected, we’ve yet to head back to where we started
A change of heart hasn’t be made, we’re left where our paths departed
A foundation of hatred, cemented by unfermented broken emotions
Reparation seems impossible; there’re no more words to be spoken
What was once a relationship held by our parents no longer exist
Left as a memory is the few good moments of when we were kids
A lifetime of regrets and thoughts about what should matter most
On top of that is family even though it sometimes seems that it don’t

They say sometimes people are too young to love when in actuality
Children are the only ones who hold a true sense of love’s fallacy

That shit is really long but its good vote for you

[Freeney]

I think that this may be the best topical battle in frontlines...or atleast what i've read recently. Anyways a very good job to both. I also enjoyed how you both took a totally different view on the same topic.

Tim- I liked your storyline because of its originality because most of the time that sort of topic is gonna turn into something like what Glory did also because their rivalry was appreaciative of each other. The switch back and forth of the older brother and the younger brother was a very good idea as well as having another "mini topic" of Grafiti in with the sibling rivalry. The way that each brother described the style that they used "blocked letters, curved lines" and their canvas for their art, "boxcars, slums/wastelands etc.." was very visual and i could imagine watching someone tag the side of a building or train. I also liked the way you incorporated the stereotype of grafiti and the people that do this as gang related and how discrimination/hate comes with that. You took the topic in a direction i dont think anyone else thought it would go. Nice job.

Favorite Lines:
Crowns, stars, and Bubble style…Paint rollers and spray cans
Sharpie markers on my ear…Coloring urban waste lands
To express my love for my krylon, My writing will lie on
I too, am in a jail cell, with nothing else to write on

Glory- I enjoyed your storyline as well and the way that you told it stood out to me. Yours was very narrative which i liked because it was a little easier to understand. You took a darker approach to the brothers relationship which was a good idea but I think you could have explained more on why the twos relationship came to a halt or end. The way you ended it was cool they never made up and still didnt speak to each other or see each other which was a fresh approach. I think it would have been better if you would have described more giving me more of an imaginary picture to tack on to it but it was still dope nonetheless.

Favorite Lines:
Then penetration was re-enacted between the mother and father of this
The result was the image of my own reflection and just a brother of his
They say sometimes people are too young to love when in actuality
Children are the only ones who hold a true sense of love’s fallacy

This was a really good battle but i can only vote for one of you.....both were good but I ultimately felt Tims harder than Glorys...just the idea and direction of where he took the topic was dope.

vote=Tim

[TeK-NiK]

well ..... if i could vote ... it would be for tim ... daum .. i got a clear image in ma mind through his verse ... liked the rhymes, flow, structure .. everythin .. glory .. you had a good verse .. jus didnt feel it!

[Glory]

your vote shouldn't count 40...

uppin this.

[Rocket D Pockets]

up.

[Night Mare]

Uppin.

[Glory]

up.

[Julius Caesar]

Uppin for some damn votes............................................. .....................................

[Tim]

thats your 5 ups glory your whole crew upped you

uppin 1

[Cody Nash]

oh damn, this was nice as hell, i REALLY enjoyed reading these, two completely different styles colliding though. so it's going to be pretty hard to judge on. thanks guys ..now lemme get to it.

Glory, there wasn't much of an internal rhyme scheme to your verse (starting with the negatives) ..you just kind of threw in a few internals every once in a while but never stayed consistant on them. This made the whole flow of the piece kind of fade out a little. there was a LOT of detail to it as well. the line length was a bit iffy without those internals to back it up every line as well, but it was still pretty great to read.

Now for the positives of your verse, there was a lot of emotion put into it. like what the reader was feeling was EXACTLY what the people in the story were feeling. it was like a broken/not broken home at the same time. in the beginning it KIND OF seemed like it was going to be a loving story, then you strayed onward to the topic by switching off and on between fueding and nice old memories. it was a VERY odd way to express sibling rivalry, but deffinatly alright by me. what i liked most were these lines here ..

Nothings been corrected, we’ve yet to head back to where we started
A change of heart hasn’t be made, we’re left where our paths departed
A foundation of hatred, cemented by unfermented broken emotions
Reparation seems impossible; there’re no more words to be spoken
What was once a relationship held by our parents no longer exist
Left as a memory is the few good moments of when we were kids

simply because it sort of described my past fueding with MY parents and four siblings. i could RELATE to what i was reading, which is something i really love to do. very well expressed part of this write up. overall, a nice piece.

vs.

Tim, now as for your negatives, i didn't really catch any. i fell off maybe ONCE, but even that was barely a place to fall off on. your whole piece was positivly negative on sibling rivalry! lol, which is good. there was some nice parts and some good parts as in glorys, but i especially loved the creativity by expressing this through TWO peoples point of views basically at the same time. the relationship between young and elder was definatly portrayed through this. i loved how each word clashed with the next, and i think you really went off and brought out the best of the topic. beautiful piece, i loved it. these lines especially ..

Imagination is all it is, Criminal? Lets be realistic
But Its Your vandalism I see, what you think is artistic
From the scribbles in my notebooks, to this language on the wall
Famous in my neighborhood, tagged, with love for it all
On Miles of boxcars, in train yards and subways…My name rests
With the names of many others who blessed them and their text
Crowns, stars, and Bubble style…Paint rollers and spray cans
Sharpie markers on my ear…Coloring urban waste lands

^the whole vibe you get from these lines. going from voice to voice, conflicting between art and such. i loved it. this was also something i could relate to, like people who hate what you do, and you explain to them why it's not a bad thing. it was just so indepth. VERY well written part of this.

IN CONCLUSION: i really enjoyed both pieces, obviously. but it's also obvious, that liked one better than the other. i think Tim, definatly took this easily. even though the styles you guys wrote in were pretty different, the winner was easier to decide than i thought. Glory, you had the "good & bad" perspective on it. while Tim, you had that "My opinion matters, not yours" vibe. both STORYS were hot as fuck, but ..Tim brought the house down with a great story and the best way to write it. so, in my uttmost honest opinion, this was easily won by Tim ..

v. Tim, thank you both for the read. hope the decision doesn't anger anyone, i took my time to explain myself, since i know what it's like to have this shit open. it doesn't close to fast. but good job again, and thanks.

- B. Nash