another freestyle

[chitown_mex11]

duckin from glockz on this block
everyday as i'm totin rockz
can't find no damn peace
slugz flying past mah head
i'm top ten most wanted by disciplez to be dead
high as hell but i still think fast
don't matter what i'm doing
mah mindz mode still be on blast
creepin through mah hood in a grey lac
memories take me way back
i gots to stay strapped
mah homey bustin caps while i'm spittin raps
Ridin round folkz tryna buck at me
pissin me off so itz time
to blast back drastically
took one in the chest
ended up in loretto hospital
back on mah feet
gon' make them ni66az miserable
if they instigate they fate
this chitown ni66a home of the invincible

feedback pls, wut chu think is good or bad or w/e~l8er

[DimeBag101]

short lines....elevate...some parts were alright like way back,stay strapped, but its all fairy tale

[CrosT Over]

i will give you sum feed as soon as you follow the rules and post up the two links of feedback that you have to have in order to post here!

since you don't have these you probably need an explanation-
leave feedback on two open mic threads and then put the links in your thread, if you don't do this the moderators will come and close this, and at that point you won't get any feedback!

[chitown_mex11]

nah homey u see it aint fairy tale, i aint talkin shit but u aint from mah hood so u wouldnt know, im from the illest part of chi thats how it is out here ask anyone from here theyll let u know wassup~l8er

[chitown_mex11]

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthre...67#post4171867

http://rapbattles.com/forum/showthread.php?t=281309

[CrosT Over]

yo, i liked this piece alittle to simple i think if you would have thrown some better vokab and wordplay(metaphors and so on) then it really would have elevated the structure of the piece, but overall i did feal you on this, good job keep postin!

[Poeta Demonio]

Please why drop a freestyle here, this is a place for people to demonstrate their minds seeds... Allow yours to grow.

[Killa_King]

Shit was ok had a decent rhyme scheme could've had better vocab,and wordplay to it but with a little work I think it could've been better you should have tried writing a piece cuzz like verbal said this really isn't the place for freestyles you know but keep practicing keep spittin this one overall was kinda simple to me but stay up kid 100

[juvi]

It was a little too simple for me in some places but you kept it together and came hard. keep it coming.

[chitown_mex11]

uppin this shit, im new here where should i post a freestyle then??

[YOUNG MILLIONS]

That shit was horrible dog, look at my post im like the best text c audio head on this site...1

[B.I.Detained.]

Rules & Lessons in Feedback<< LINK.


I HAVE TO HARSH ON YOU ALL NOW.
READ THE RULES. Feedback was horrible.
CLOSED.

-Brix.