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Thread: Death becomes him.

  1. #1
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Death becomes him.

    Death becomes him.


    In the eternal pain that resides in my soul of lost hope...
    Devours my thought, my sight blinded, taste vacant...
    Broken dreams springing my mind to demonic views....
    I am what is spoken only as a whisper in the wind...
    Dead.

    A mere memory of better times, thrusted violently to the grave...
    Tempted by faith, rendered my heart weak, took away my pride...
    The fruit that once was ripe, now a descendant of death...
    I am what is spoken only as a whisper in the wind...
    Dead.

    My celestial body laying abstracted on the cold desolate mist...
    The soul that once was, shaken from my human form...
    Depressed by torture, celibate to emotion, Who am I ?..
    I am what is spoken only as a whisper in the wind...
    Dead.

    Dancing in the dark, alone yet caressed by love of light...
    Death is a sanctum yet not my home, cleared thought...
    Life continues to live as a manifestation of memory...
    I am what is spoken only as a whisper in the wind...
    Dead.
    Last edited by Poeta Demonio; March 14th, 2006 at 10:59 AM
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  2. #2
    as i rest in the coffin my soul fades away
    as my soul dissappears time erases the memories
    splits from the body & get taken to a place
    body may be in the soffin but the soul is taken to place
    it may be heaven or somewhere else
    the body may be DEAD
    But the soul is still livin

    Verbal insanity thats some deep shit hommie

  3. #3
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Thanks, I think.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  4. #4
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    yes this was good.........and you have alot of skill in this area.deep drop.the imagery was dope and I felt that you wrote about something that has some importance to yourself.but I don't know in what way.your vocab was fine,and your strucutre was also very good.the only thing I can coment on actually has nothing to do with this drop.I just noticed taht you have retired from frontlines.I know frontlines is full of herbs and cheats,but you will be missed....your rhymes brought a source for good reading.anyway as I was saying this is a dope poem.....and I would like to see more of it in here.You have alot of potential to be very dope at poetry....just post your rhymes here and study the feed carefully (unless it's from a herb that knows nothing) and you will elevate......I look forward to seeing it......nice drop man,I really enjoyed reading it.

  5. #5
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    To be honest i hate front lines... I prefer Om's as you can get honest feed on your work, and alot more time is spent on feed...
    Yet in front lines your lucky to get a fair vote anywhere.

    But thank you for your feed.

    Upping.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  6. #6
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    More feed ?
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  7. #7
    Newbie StuntS's Avatar
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    that was up there, good vibe
    straight rhymes, equal hard times,
    life on paper, coverted to lines,

  8. #8
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Upping, thank you.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

  9. #9
    Bye bye black bird Poeta Demonio's Avatar
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    Meh it's been a few days... upping.
    AI


    “ˇViva la Revolución!”

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