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Thread: A Race To Doom

  1. #1
     
    Join Date
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    A Race To Doom

    A Race To Doom

    Detest diffuses gladness, crushes love or represses pain,
    Feels not thine hardened breast a horrid bliss inside this brain
    In the wild shriek of anguish? in the groan of brutal choice?,
    Of speechless misery? Hence expressed with thy tyrant voice
    Dear to the heart is freedom's way of burning a generous flame,
    Indignant rushes, and asserts her rights; through the passivists claim
    But for this nameless transport, thou has found a sept,
    A gloomy substitute, on the contrary of the depths
    Of loathsome dungeons, manacles, and chains and shackles,
    Can't draw strange pleasure through paintings of black birds and grackles
    We walk the weary stretch of two yellow strips painted and sewed,
    While the breeze weaves the leaves, into this winding road.
    And fair, and artful, the cultured train obstructed the tracks,
    That wound the snare round Africa's thoughtless son's pick axe
    And dragged them to perdition. In their eyes wept a song,
    Bright shine the splendid stores; sadness crept around the throng
    The wondering natives; and with strange peculiar delight,
    Gaze on thier novel beauties; as they commend the horrid contrite
    New wishes rise which, gratified in part earned them a stay,
    And part restrained, intensive contention heightened by delay
    Vibrant chimes wake the dread lust of having a no-good family,
    Of rich, or rare, for ornament, or use of holy sanity
    Which they can't afford, they gladly resign; but still unbought,
    Remains only the shining treasure, far beyond of what we sought
    In the poor native's estimate; his bow would strike the hay,
    His reedy arrows, or the blood dappled skin of his wanted prey
    Won from the leopard in the dangerous race to demise,
    Mean time impetuous rose the fierce desire of impulsive lies
    And, like a sudden deluge, floods swept along the coast,
    The sense of right uncultured nature gave for them to survive a hoax
    Thus blasted were the joys of private life; all upstrung,
    And the fair fruit of confidence, became rotten and the tied vines undone
    A canker in its core, that all unseen through these showers,
    Changed from a beloved potion to poison turned its salutary powers
    But these were trivial injuries, they became confined with age,
    To private wrong; outlashed and killed like the fever's rage
    Sought but precarious victims for their prey was a hell,
    But soon the epidemic madness of this sadness would swell
    To pestilential fury, and involved through a flower's bloom,
    Surrounding nations in one hell of a fight to general doom.

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  2. #2
     
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  3. #3
     
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    to the top.

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  4. #4
     
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    bump!

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  5. #5
     
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    yup ....*stretches*

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  6. #6
     
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    29 views. 4 replies, and they were all from me. Please feed this ladies and gentlemen.

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  7. #7
     
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    I love RB and the way they give me feed.

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  8. #8
    Elite.-
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    this shyt is dope thats whats crackin that shyt was go0od yo vocabulary was way up there i loved it you are a very intellectual person keep it up b
    scytsophrenia

  9. #9
     
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    thanks gal.

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  10. #10
    That's some good shit. I liked the syllables man. keep it up

  11. #11
    The Black JC. Julius Caesar's Avatar
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    I like how this was portrait. The concept was cool, could've been better. I like the flow, in some parts I got mixed up with some little grammar errors, but you've picked up toward the end. I like the emotion you put into this, very nice, and the metaphors you put in, without using similies as, like or as, great job. This was a easily read verse, I think you need to work on flow, and shorten up your Lines, cause there is a way you can shorten those Lines and still have the same meaning like the lines you've got now. So the Concept was about a Cheeta in africa right?, being hunted right?...I Think, if not then explain to me later. Overall, good drop.

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  12. #12
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    I dig it when people get deep, and its not just like fuck the police, kill your mom, cut your throat kinda shit... that shit gets old i dug it
    to cool for a sig..

    Me vs. DEF Reaper

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  13. #13
     
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    gracias.

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  14. #14
    You've Earned a Custom Title!
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    yea gracias peice, haha
    to cool for a sig..

    Me vs. DEF Reaper

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  15. #15
     
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    lmao.

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