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Thread: blind revenge

  1. #1
    Rebirth.exe Phoenix.'s Avatar
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    blind revenge


    one kid,one knife tied in a moral bind
    to quick to grow-up never found a meaning for life
    spent years wondering contemplating his lifes death
    how could his pain effect so many people,when it's his calm that left
    known only as it even this kid's existent was non-existent
    his parents used to lock him up when he used resistance
    grew up in a broken home his parents used to beat and abuse him
    falling onto the pillows crying cuz the lights making his head spin
    he lost control he never thought he would lose it
    but he started rapping and found his anger could flow thru it
    his parents confronted him but the lyrics ..he longed to do he was pulled in
    pulled out a gun....gunshots, he ran and never stopped running
    his life continually fast paced and dangerous
    page long articals...locked up,no this kid still nameless
    all he wanted was to cause the pain he had to endure
    he hustled ppl pickpocketed and lied for pleasure
    he thought he could change things but he was now homeless
    now i bet you all can see why is life was so unfocused
    Last edited by Phoenix.; March 4th, 2006 at 08:53 PM
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  2. #2
    Rebirth.exe Phoenix.'s Avatar
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  3. #3
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    aaw syn this piece is deep.. i'm glad u in my crew mayne.. i'm deffo feelin it..
    i wudda leave more feed babe but i'm illlin in heaven wit chu lol
    i might come back 2 this later dow..1lurv..
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

  4. #4
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    pretty nice peice..good rhymes....nicely flowed
    topic was pretty cool...strucutre was even
    vocab and complexity/ imagery was alright
    overall this was pretty nice...keep it up...

  5. #5
    Rebirth.exe Phoenix.'s Avatar
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    thx uppin
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  6. #6
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    nice shit homie real dope peice homie you had nice creativity and it was deep thats all I gotta say man.....good shit

  7. #7
    Written Voices Jon's Avatar
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    Well, it was short, jumpy, and sometimes hard to grasp the subject. Though it had beginers mistakes, I thought it was a pretty nice drop, just next time, make it a little longer that way you can have the story flowing, instead of jumping all over the place.
    Pretty deep topic, elevate.
    Keep dropin and you will.
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  8. #8
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    hmm flowed well throughout it all.. topic was good babe.. tha imagery in this
    was good 2.. i enjoyed readin this syn good looks.. tha vocab was aiite 2.. keep
    doin ya thang b..1lurv
    ''Crying Is Blackmail''

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