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Thread: "A King Worth Killing" ft. Mindless

  1. #1

    "A King Worth Killing" ft. Mindless

    Atticus - Regular
    Mindless - Itallics


    Under that black top hat
    Stitched within its barers
    Cause rests Uncle Tom,
    And a delightful game
    Of ring around the rosy
    Meets the ashes of
    What's to come while
    All the kids fall back,
    As they watch Rosa
    Run in circles looking
    For the head of the pack.

    Then he stood, a foot in the grave
    as they gave the tipping point
    a blunt wrapped in those ashes.
    I smoked the bones of the land
    and braved to go on the brim,
    as niggers splintered the thin
    lumber and Black Jack Johnson
    turned limbs towards the kids;
    calling "timber!" until white men
    went limp, in the heat of summer.


    Coreta's in the corner,
    Making Martin's death bed,
    As the sheets get caught
    In that stubborn old birch tree,
    While the willows trembled
    And their passionate tears
    Burn two holes through
    These thin covers of purity,
    Before they go opaque
    And twist their corners in
    To hug her screaming throat.

    We came engraved on stumps
    from the cherry tree that was
    chopped down, which became
    our coffin as drops of resin
    incased our tasteless eye.
    The golden apple was stolen
    from the hands holding time.
    Washington watched them
    enter the garden and pick
    leaves from the money tree,
    that brought dead presidents
    crumbling to their knees.
    So sit at the head of my table
    and tell me of the minorities
    who's basket came back empty.
    Then reach for the blood sun
    with the rope between the dirty
    leaves where poverty is hung.

    Monotony sowed it's seed
    when stores showed how deep
    we breath into hollow roots.
    We wore shirts that spoke volumes
    to listeners that were mute.
    They clothed our hatred and
    naked, undressed resentment,
    that loathed complacent truth.
    We all followed suit, soon enough.
    We all supported it, sporting outfits
    from innocent fists of infants
    gone missing under wheel barrows;
    carrying deals scandals materialized
    to hide narrow wrists peeling proof.


    Mississippi state of mind;
    Paths are being blazed,
    As Fredrick Douglas
    Leads a train of thought
    Underground, directly
    Through the grave.
    Meet at the safe house,
    But mind the barbed wire.
    The plantation stands
    As the sun's eclipsed
    And each step leaves
    An asphalt highway.

    Roads are overgrown hospitals
    since we sold peace by the kilo
    to those homes in the ghetto;
    knowing young ones loved fame,
    wanting to snort the light, but it
    distorted the bright faced horizon
    into sporadic afternoons, where the
    moon shine quietly made life frightful
    of black men that had broken bottles,
    but their guns cast no shadows.


    Hear the dogs bleed
    Their hungering screams
    Into the dense air,
    As Jesus yanks the collar
    So hard that a spark
    Is born in dry atmosphere,
    While the darkness
    Watches from between
    Gaps in the forrest's fingers,
    Before the flame
    Dances up the arms
    Of a quivering evergreen.

    The two thick trunks burn
    Steady until all their limbs
    Have been singed off
    And all that remains
    Is a charred may pole,
    As Jesus starts dancing
    Hand in hand with ignorance,
    Before the polls falter;
    Land crossed on the ground,
    As embers light their pride.
    And as all these new
    Constellations fall from
    The rippling skies,
    Jesus opens his eyes;
    Falls upon God's lost cross,
    Into his transfixed crucifixion
    And begins to cry.

    ... And there, Betsy Ross
    Sits on her colonial porch
    Watching it all happen.
    Gazing threw the spaces
    Of the railing she watches
    Every black man there
    Trapped between the bars
    Of that white picket fence;
    Then tilts her heavy head
    Down and continues sewing.
    As the needle of that syringe
    Cracks her ivory thimble,
    As all seven red stripes
    Began to bleed away,
    Leaving a clean white
    Page To fly at half mast.

    This past is nobody's flag that is
    flown over the rags of epitaphs.
    Our plague is on parade and we
    walk with crooked swags that
    are gladly bound and gagged.
    Who will praise this symbol if
    it's raised with simple prejudice
    for the thimble and the thread
    as we dragged our feet with bliss?
    They proclaim to wave proud
    and brag about names mentioned,
    being ashamed of the attention
    willing to make them a famous
    nation, over a king worth killing.


    Continue to pace crab
    Grass and broken shards
    Of that stained glass
    Window that decided to
    Kiss the blarney stone.
    As the windows opened,
    The fog ran in, then
    Tiptoed over every note
    And began to dance...
    Hand in hand, toe to toe;
    Jesus was romanced.

    The music led; fog followed;
    As the choir stood in awe
    And watched the swallows.
    They just stood there,
    Providing the soundtrack
    To the last site of equality...
    Before the fog became
    Tangled in threads of sanity.
    Faster the two twirled about;
    Thread growing titer around
    The Minister's cold throat
    As the two continue to dance;
    Following the orchestrators
    Hands before he raises them...
    As the noose tightens,
    And Malcolm wears an "X"
    Over each eye lid...
    As he dies on a high note.

    Likewise, when Martin Luther
    realized how steep the steps
    where inside each steeple,
    he cried, "When I die...
    I'll scribe my Alibi in metal.
    Tell me if there's life above
    what we call good and evil!
    Why should people fight while
    time passes away our rights?"

    I've tried to turn the knob,
    I've tried to knock on the doors
    with the force of praying hands.
    But this neutral lock the Smiths
    picked to hold the broken pieces
    of people's complete soul can't
    fit through the key-whole...


    The church clears,
    The screaming spectators
    Disperse through the
    Various halls to find an exit,
    While with ever ear piercing
    Screech Malcolm lifts
    Farther into the darkness
    Of the cathedral rafters.

    Join us here, after the
    dead letters are opened
    again, and the spine of
    the Bible breaks under
    the devil's pen.
    He's drawn blood,
    while we've foregone awe
    to wonder if dawn will come.
    All it spawned was sons,
    that our daughters saw shunned
    to fields dreamed in cotton.


    But, there's a straggler.
    Harriet has lost her way;
    Stumbling through the halls.
    It seams the walls have eyes,
    They see all, and judge more.
    She stop dead, reached a fork
    In the cavernous hallways,

    To the right she gazed
    Into the light at the end of
    The tunnel, before she turned...
    Looked quick then ran left
    As she disappeared........
    ............ Into the darkness.

    The silence: deafening.
    As the walls began to cry led;
    Lifted brick fingers and pointed
    Chanting "Death... Death...

    Death went out to the sinner’s house,
    Come and go with me
    Sinner cried out, I’m not ready to go,
    Ain’t got no travellin’ shoes.
    Got no travellin’ shoes, got no travellin’ shoes
    Sinner cried out, I’m not ready to go
    I ain’t got no travellin’ shoes 

    Death went out to the gambler’s house,
    Come and go with me
    The gambler cried out, I’m not ready to go,
    Ain’t got no travellin’ shoes.
    Got no travellin’ shoes, got no travellin’ shoes
    Sinner cried out, I’m not ready to go
    I ain’t got no travellin’ shoes 

    Death went out to the preacher’s house,
    Come and go with me
    The preacher cried out, I’m not ready to go,
    Ain’t got no travellin’ shoes"


    "Travellin' Shoes" By Vera Hall Ward (1950)


    Abst.Co
    Last edited by Atti; April 27th, 2006 at 05:28 PM
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  2. #2
    Twin Cities 651 Laureate's Avatar
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    I can tell your not gonna get many replies cuz peeps will be turned off by
    the length, but I love you both so here it goes.

    In the 21st century, where everyone writes freeverse, and the 20th century,
    where it was a mix between freeverse and basic rhyming, its always nice to
    see people using, as my Rap Professor would call it, Virtuoso rhyming, and
    Mindless does better than anyone I've ever seen.
    I really liked how you two wrote about history, while incorporating famous
    black people ie Rosa parks, Coretta King, Martin Luther King jr, Malcom X and
    so on. Like I said, internal rhyming was superb, as were the metpahors and
    allusions throughout.

    Atticus...the lines
    "Every black man there
    Trapped between the bars
    Of that white picket fence;
    Then tilts her heavy head
    Down and continues sewing.
    As the needle of that syringe
    Cracks her ivory thimble,
    As all seven red stripes
    Began to bleed away,
    Leaving a clean white
    Page To fly at half mast."

    is fuckin amazing, how you describe the black people trapped behind the
    stripes of the flag, or in America, and how they struggle to be free...Great
    metaphor man

    Mindless...I'm curious, when you refered to "Black Jack Johnson", were you
    referring to the rapper or the Boxer who was the first black man to win the heavyweight title? Prolly the latter. Another good allusion for those who know
    who he is.

    the lines
    "Who will praise this symbol if
    it's raised with simple prejudice
    for the thimble and the thread
    as we dragged our feet with bliss?
    They proclaim to wave proud
    and brag about names mentioned,
    being ashamed of the attention
    willing to make them a famous
    nation, over a king worth killing."

    were great, especially the first 2, great imagry and metaphor as well as
    raw emotion. It also poses a valid question that is still relevant in today's
    time.

    Overall this was a great piece guys, really extremely well done. Everything
    about it was top notch, and you know if it sucked I'd tell you. You two
    blended very well together. Great job fellas

    -Laureate
    A few achievements here and there

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  3. #3
    Aaaaw man, Laur I love you. Lol, didn't think we'd actually get to many responces to this because of the length like you said but we really apreciate the fact you took the time to not only read the entire thing but leave us a nice breakdown aswell. If there's anything you need feed on feel free to ask man.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  4. #4
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    laureate you are the man. thanks for taking the time to read and respond to this. honestly thought we weren't going to get any replies. lol. and yea, I ment the boxer, though i could see how it might allude to both. appreciate the love hombre.
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  5. #5
    redefinitive.
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    Wow...
    This blew me away
    An indepth look on Black people hidden behind White supperiority.
    The struggle that brought them this far, but they're quite not there yet.
    Amazing detail and Metaphors that depict Darmatic Images...
    sad, yet uplifting? This piece just blew me away

    Everything about this piece just clicked... The great African Historical Figures incoroporated into a beautifully written poetry.

    i love it
    I ROCK THE THROWBACK LIKE SEX WITH MY EX.

  6. #6
    ...
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    Wow, This is really good, I'll drop more in depth feed later....

  7. #7
    Mindless Self-Engulfed In Moniker's Avatar
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    thanks
    A ruthless
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    of everything existing.
    Po'ethics
    abstanticollective.

  8. #8
    Twitch...
    Guest
    *Whew this is long* well... i just got out of an english exam so it seems long...

    ill edit in my reply by tonight... got my word on that..

    not word...

    my word.

    Fav stanzas:

    "Mindless"
    Roads are overgrown hospitals
    since we sold peace by the kilo
    to those homes in the ghetto;
    knowing young ones loved fame,
    wanting to snort the light, but it
    distorted the bright faced horizon
    into sporadic afternoons, where the
    moon shine quietly made life frightful
    of black men that had broken bottles,
    but their guns cast no shadows.

    snort the light was my fav line here, i really thought this stanza laid out how seriouse this peice is and set the atmosphere

    Atti

    The music led; fog followed;
    As the choir stood in awe
    And watched the swallows.
    They just stood there,
    Providing the soundtrack
    To the last site of equality...
    Before the fog became
    Tangled in threads of sanity.
    Faster the two twirled about;
    Thread growing titer around
    The Minister's cold throat
    As the two continue to dance;
    Following the orchestrators
    Hands before he raises them...
    As the noose tightens,
    And Malcolm wears an "X"
    Over each eye lid...
    As he dies on a high note.

    i liked this stanza, mostly i thought the words came together nicely here and the lines kept picking themselves up building up to the end... very nicely done...

    You guys set an almost creepy scene in my opinion here and wrote an amazing, long peice without really loosing my attention the whole way threw... very nicely done here. Atticus your writing is on a steady uphill and mindless well... you know.

    Peace.
    Last edited by Twitch...; March 8th, 2006 at 05:52 PM

  9. #9
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    damn im breathless.....mindless this was dope and atticus i see you getting more and more great each piece you drop....i think both of your writting skills,vocabulary, and styles really mesh well together...anyways i loved the sincerity of this poem,i love alot of poems and scriptures on our history really makes you think...anyways i felt this was great and yeah this definatly deserved to be in febuary's hof.
    AI

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  10. #10
    Thanks alot Val, I apreciate you taking the time to read this.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  11. #11
    Word Of Mouth Kaotic Theory's Avatar
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    AI

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  12. #12
    All fed man.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  13. #13
    None
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    this kind of stuff doesnt impress me anymore. NOT talking about the quality of your writing but the type of writing.. i just don't like long poetry that much in most any form. and I like stories with actions rather than morals, or at least good action which leads to the moral. but, anyway, since i stumbled in here somehow, just want to note it was very professionally done and well written. keep doing what you do guys.

    peace

  14. #14
    Well, I really respect the fact you can put aside your personal opinion and break it down in terms of what makes a good poem. So thanks alot for your responce, and, if you've got anything that needs feedback in return don't hesitate to ask... Lol I pretty much owe a good three responces after having you read all of this. Again, thanks alot man.
    po'ethics /
    abstanticollective.

  15. #15
    hav'nt ya heard?
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    it was ill..........too long..but ill...........p-e-a-c-e................................................. ......

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