This Rotten Flesh

[G.Lord]

Rotten Flesh
Eatin' Alive Presious death on His Scrunchesh Teeth
& Tearing Me Limb By Limb,Leaving Me Flesh and Meat
Screams from my Mouth,Bruises from the scortching Pains
Leaving Me Red & Blue,watching The Blood,from my Veins
Monsterous Things Not One But Many Creatures lerk
Bones Lie on the Ground & Seeing The People Search
Slow & Lengthy Death Watchin Bones Crush Threw My Chest
Seeing Them Die Off Is Better Then You Seein' My Tearing Flesh
No Ones Seen or Herd Of My Dissapearance,Like No Ones Looked
But thoughts of seeing the magets feed and lerk on my rotten foot
Just The Site Of Them Squeeze My Body,Blood Poped Out My Eyes
I was In The Desert No Where & No One Could Hear My Waling Cries
My Body Could Fit In Thier Mouth as If was a Type Of Dinner Food
As I Wasn't Dead Yet My Head Can See In Side Thier Inner Tube
I Got Out Easy Yeah It was Hard But You Just Wouldn't Guess
I Bit Threw His Skin and It was Nothen But Some Rotten Flesh

http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...63#post3885663
http://www.rapbattles.com/forum/show...77#post3885677

[J.Christ]

Basically you rappin about get ate by a muhfuccin monster? .

Eatin' Alive Presious death on His Scrunchesh Teeth
& Tearing Me Limb By Limb,Leaving Me Flesh and Meat

If he's tearing you limb by limb you wouldnt have flesh and meat.

This shit was horrible .

I Got Out Easy Yeah It was Hard But You Just Wouldn't Guess
I Bit Threw His Skin and It was Nothen But Some Rotten Flesh

Of course it's rotten flesh . its a monster not fried chicken .


Bein on some real shit, Not the type of rap i like .

[G.Lord]

You Old Fuck Ass Noob Mutha fucka its called Topical for a reason

[ExPlOsIvE]

yo j. christ if u not gona rely leave ne feed u dnt rely need 2 post, bt not like i rely cae. Neway i kinda liked this piece, quite gory but well literated. The flow stay on point for me wich is kwl, vocab wasnt at its best, didnt rely c many multies bbt it all kwl.
Keep elevatin
Peace

[G.Lord]

LOL No Mean COmments Towards You But WTF Did You Say I COuldnt Make OUt Nothen

[U.N.T.O.L.D]

u aint so literate then bro lol

[G.Lord]

heh

[Spakz]

Dont Sleep On This Shit

[Bounce]

You have much to work on here topically. You had a great pic to work iwth and instead you let it fizzle out. The approach to topic was not very unique and the imagery was lacking behind that. The diction of the peaice was in serious need and the scheme was basically conventional and over simplistic. YOu did not project emotive content as well as a topical peice should, more so bieng that you had an asthetic value attached to this in the form of the pic. Very dull on all accounts and not very developed in any sense. Like I said, you have lots to work on topically dude. keep at it, better luck next time.

[.Self.]

You have much to work on here topically. You had a great pic to work iwth and instead you let it fizzle out. The approach to topic was not very unique and the imagery was lacking behind that. The diction of the peaice was in serious need and the scheme was basically conventional and over simplistic. YOu did not project emotive content as well as a topical peice should, more so bieng that you had an asthetic value attached to this in the form of the pic. Very dull on all accounts and not very developed in any sense. Like I said, you have lots to work on topically dude. keep at it, better luck next time.

I agree with bounce on this one. the topic was different a little and twisted. but it was good. the picture you used, was a good picture but like bounce said you let it die out. the imagery in this was pretty decent same with all the descriptions and the vocab grab here was pretty dope to. theres much you need to elevate on in the topicals area here. but doesnt that go for all topical people. overall I will give you a 8/10. keep droppin man and dont let my critisism deteriorate you. you have some mass potential that just needs to have its spark.

-Peace.

can you peep my om in my sig.

[DonOwnsYou]

It had potential but failed to satisfy.

It seemed you tried to go with the shock factor...thats cool and all...but you shoud have used better words.

4/10

Don

[mc pyro.]

this shit could have been great only it didint come out good at all u lak at some things but other things were dope like the imagery was ok and all defently use a better topic elevate thats all