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Thread: "Calls in the Dark" Prt.1

  1. #1
    Apostle OS
    Guest

    "Calls in the Dark" Prt.1

    "Calls in the Dark" Prt.1

    (Phone rings)

    "Hello, who's this?" "Oh, shit! I'm good, yo. . ."

    What's poppin? Straight outa lock you quick to stop in,
    You got stock and it's shockin.
    Now the COPs watch us but you still jockin,
    you could stop this, my pockets is gettin thin, too,
    so I can't knock shit.

    Tryna make diamonds out the coal in our stockin,
    we all in prison cause we locked on the profits.
    It's time to clock in get a job, jus gettin by don't pay the rent,
    but it helps to pray to God.
    I understand that you gotta survive,
    so I'll cop a 10, hop in and we'll all get high.

    The justive systems rotten, got us all pickin cotton,
    it's not the colors, it's them poloticians plottin.
    And all this gossip make's me wanna drop clips at these snitches,
    nah, I hope every one misses,
    'cept one between my own eye sockets.

    This isn't human nature, it's a process,
    how families go from golden lockets to wooden boxes.
    I remember dodgin the neighborhood watches,
    for stealin bikes out garages,
    now Summer days wit the crew turn into mirages.

    The difference between knowledge and scholars is college,
    when will we stop wit the nonsense?
    Powder that turns to rock to dollars,
    turns empty wallets to mail from cold cots,
    from 2 strikes to 20 to life,
    I hope not.

    Chorus:
    God bless,
    I needed to get this off my chest.
    Another call in the dark, another brawl at the park.
    God bless,
    my girl can't heal our broken hearts,
    I fear another call in the dark.
    Last edited by Apostle OS; January 11th, 2006 at 02:00 AM

  2. #2
    You've earned a custom title! Cody Nash's Avatar
    Join Date
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    It's real simple...nothing too special, you were trying to mix slang 'Street' words with a story and it looks like you done fucked yourself up, this whole verse looks like it'd be just a big chourus or something...you tried tho I give you that...Nice try,

    ~Nash

  3. #3
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    sike, thanks though

  4. #4
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    uppin

  5. #5
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    uppp uppp uppp

  6. #6
    Apostle OS
    Guest
    up last time

  7. #7
    Mikey B
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    well i liked it but if it was meant as a topical u are in need of much emotion and a better structure---spice it6 up with metaphors and restucture it.......the makings of dopeness famm...
    stay up
    ~1~

  8. #8
    Mikey B
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    plz hit up the link in my sigg if u get a chance

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